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Knock, Knock…Who’s There? Sexual Interruptions


do-not-disturbYou finally made it over to the bed. His shirt is off, your underwear is soaring across the room. The lights are dim. The bed is quickly being destroyed. Lips are locked and you’re ready for sexy time. And then you hear the tap, tap, tap at the door.

Ah, interruptions during sex.

Everyone hates it, but in college, it seems unavoidable.  Maybe college students just don’t have the decorum to realize that if the door is shut, locked, and the person inside is yelling and pleading for you to go away, you should just walk away. Or perhaps since most college students are used to sharing everything from computer labs to showers, they think trying to walk in on their roommates sexy time is a-ok.

Seriously, whenever my boyfriend and I are trying to have some alone time, one of his three idiot roommates ruins the moment. It is usually like clockwork. If one of them isn’t sliding pennies under the door (yes, this happens. It’s strange, I know) to get my boyfriend’s attention, it is his annoyingly pompous roommate knocking to “inquire” about a bill. Oh, and my personal favorite is when they need to borrow my boyfriend’s stapler. It’s 1am on a Saturday, why the hell do you need a stapler?

If we wanted them to join, I’m sure we would leave the door open. But we don’t. And I don’t get it. If we just said goodnight twenty minutes ago, why are you sliding pennies under the door? What is it that makes people so oblivious to the need of alone time with a significant other? Maybe human beings secretly enjoy ruining the moment for someone; a little satisfaction knowing that a simple interruption can make a couple lose the desire for the moment. Or maybe that need for the stapler really is that imperative.

We’ve tried everything: Post-it notes that read “Do not disturb,” even a hammer on the door signifying that “hammer time” (as one of his roommates calls it) is happening. Seriously, what more can you do when you’re duct-taping a hammer to the door in hopes that you will be left alone for a couple hours?

I’ve heard that some people just leave the door unlocked and open, in hopes that the noises and the action going on will defer any interrupters, but does it have to be that extreme to have some intimacy in college? It seems like getting rid of privacy is the only way to get rid of the incorrigible intruders, but since sex is something that should be private it seems like the boundaries are truly being crossed.

Those times when interruptions don’t happen, well … those are times to be relished, but they really are few and far in between.

I know I’m not the only one with knocks coming from the other side of the door. So, what is the most awkward or persistent sexual interruption you have experienced? And what is the best way to stop the nonsense behind the door?

    I'm a future Real Housewife of Atlanta.