Ever have one of those nights where you just really wanted to get drunk (we’re not judging!) but no matter what you throw down the hatch it just won’t happen? You try everything: shots, bongs, mixing your beverages. But even after all that work, you’re still far, far away from making poor decisions.
Yeah, it’s pretty sucky, I know. But no matter how desperate you get, you wouldn’t do something as sick, disturbing and really grosstastic as this, would you?
Who thinks of this sorta stuff?! Sure, I’d like to get drunk without all those pesky calories, but sticking a beer bong up your booty is a bit much, no? Plus, one of the best parts of drinking is the social aspect; I can’t imagine my friends would want to join me in the bathroom as I shove a (super sized) vodka-soaked tampon in my cooch.
I am incredibly disturbed that people actually think this is a good idea, but even more disturbed by the fact that my mouth has touched many, many beer bongs in my time. Lord only knows where those things have been before.
I need a cocktail.
In my mouth.
Not my lady parts, thankyouverymuch.