We’re growing up in a weird, hook-up focused culture where the term “dating” is more undefinable than Lindsay Lohan’s sexuality. When a guy is chatting you up at a party or a bar, one would think it’s safe to assume he’s interested in you. But in the world of flirtation and intoxication, the intentions are as fuzzy as your legs in the winter.
How can you tell if the person you’re talking to is actually interested in you, or just interested in an interchangeable sex buddy to use later that night? You’re too special to be referred to as “hot girl with the big rack,” so learn how to tell which guys are genuinely interested, and which guys are playing their odds with every girl in the room.
So how do you know if the guy hitting on you thinks you’re extra sexy or used the same opener and closer on a chick three feet away from you?
Unless you possess the super human ability to actually read men’s actions, it can be a tricky feat. But one sure fire way to discern whether he is talking to you or to your breasts is to try and assess the quality of conversation. It’s understandable that after a couple shots of Jack you’re not going to be discussing the impact of gender on social roles in Sri Lanka, but are the only words coming out of his mouth, “Oh baby you look like such a good kisser”? If he’s legitimately trying to get to know you, you should be able to recount 3 interesting facts he’s told you about himself, and 3 interesting facts he’s asked you about yourself. (“What color are your panties?” does NOT count).
One guy friend well known for being quite the ladies’ man (to put it politely), admitted that he can talk for hours with a girl he is interested in…but if he’s just looking for a good time, he’ll try to get her to stop conversing within the first 15 minutes. If you’ve begun making out after exchanging about three sentences, don’t count on a serious connection.
But even if he’s a master conversationalist, actions speak louder than words, sister. Are his eyes on you…or is it more like his eyes are on you, your friend, and the cocktail waitress? I’m not saying to rip out your friend’s hair extensions in a fit of jealousy if he compliments her tank top, but be aware; is he trying to work several girls at once? Guys like this will work their magic (or intoxicate) entire groups of BFFs, and then sink their claws into the one who seems most ready and willing. If he’s hitting on 6 girls at once, I wouldn’t count on him being your Romeo anytime soon.
I have enough male friends to be well aware of the ultimate “work-the-room” guy move; if he’s excusing himself to the bathroom every 15 minutes, chances are “bathroom” is code for “hot blonde on the other side of the room.” Not to say someone has to be glued to your hip all night to be interested, but if you find yourself feeling pretty ignored, chances are he wouldn’t care if you walked away.
As an ultimate rule…the clues are in the details! Body language is a big give away. Does he seem in tune with your conversation, or is he half tuned out, ready to pounce on the next busty babe that passes by? Does his laugh seem sincere, or is he kind of zoning out every five minutes while you tell stories about how you’ve always wanted a pet turtle? A way I can always tell if a guy is just making me another number on his list is if he neglects to ask how to spell my confusing, foreign name when he’s storing my number. Even if your parents didn’t bless you with an unpronounceable name, he still should ask, ”Hey, is that spelled with an I or a Y?” If he doesn’t seem to care too much about your name or area code, chances are you’re getting stored as “potential hook up number 63.” So, yes, maybe he will call you. When he’s done booty calling girls 1-62.
Casual hook ups are perfectly socially acceptable (and on birthdays and holidays, completely required). But, hey, you worked hard to be intelligent and witty. Make sure someone is getting to know how intelligent and witty you are before you partake in a game of tonsil hockey and shacking up for the evening.