Everything’s bigger in Texas—especially calorie counts. This Tuesday, Texas State Fair officials announced eight finalists for this year’s Big Tex Choice Awards, a contest for innovative and inevitably artery-clogging food. The list includes heart attack-inducing treats like Texas Fried Pecan Pie, Deep-Fried Peaches & Cream, and—drumroll, please—Deep-Fried Butter.
That’s right: straight-up sticks of butter, wrapped in dough and fried. America, this is why we’re fat.
As disgusting as the dairy and dough combo sounds, though, I have to admit that I’m a little curious about how it would taste. That got me thinking about other weird, gross-but-kinda-good sounding foods that I’m embarrassed to admit I want to try.
Here’s the list so far:
1. Kool-Aid Pickles
Did you know that in Mississippi, people take jars of pickles, pour out the brine, add water and Kool-Aid, wait a week, and then eat them? It’s true! The doctored pickles supposedly taste sweet and sour, kind of like sour jelly beans (my favorite) but a little stranger. I’d be down for taking a bite of one of these if I’m ever in the Deep South.
2. Cupcake Milkshakes
Everyone likes cupcakes. Everyone likes milkshakes. Why haven’t we been combining these two all along? Here’s a recipe. You’re welcome.
3. KFC’s Double Down Sandwich
Remember earlier this year, when commercials for new Kentucky Grilled Chicken made it seem as if the Colonel was trying to take his chain in a new, healthier direction? Those days are over. In August, KFC introduced a sandwich that consists of bacon, cheese, and special sauce nestled between two pieces of fried chicken instead of a bun. Eating a single one will probably raise your cholesterol instantly, but it might be worth it just to say that you did.
4. Mustard Ice Cream
Hear me out: one time, I ate a piece of chocolate with mustard in it, and it was surprisingly not terrible. This ice cream might not be totally foul.
Okay, fine, it probably is.
Another why-didn’t-I-think-of-this-sooner super-combination: s’mores that use Peeps instead of regular marshmallows. Even if consuming one means I’m going to need an insulin shot, I want them in my belly.
6. Candy-Flavored Smoothies at Jamba Juice
Apparently, our favorite semi-healthy fast food joint has an extensive secret menu, one that includes smoothies that taste like gummy bears, Starbursts, and even Fruity Pebbles. Go here to learn more about your delicious, off-menu options. Sure, drinking a smoothie that tastes like Skittles kind of defeats the purpose of going to Jamba in the first place, but these sound too good to pass up.
7. Bacon Floss
It’s not quite food, but I’m intrigued by the idea of floss that tastes like bacon. Seriously, it’s like bacon that’s good for you! Mmmmm, bacon.
Are there any odd foods that you want to try?