Project Runway Rundown: auf Wiedersehen, Bitches!

pr avant gardeYou know what they say in baseball: “Three strikes, and you’re out!” And now we know the same is true in Project Runway.

But more on that later.

First let’s discuss Tim Gunn in flip flops and Wayfarers. If that’s not the best moment in Project Runway history, I’m not sure what is. I just wanted to pinch those little cheeks. But there was no time for that, what with the surfwear team challenge!

Oooooh.
Aaaaah.

Everyone knows that team challenges are a disaster and a half, so I had a feeling this episode was going to be pretty delicious. I immediately began placing bets (with myself) as to who would work together best, who would go up in flames like a Sambucca shot, and who would just sorta coast through the challenge and get zero camera time.

It didn’t take me long to figure out that Ra’mon and Milk Dud the dud that is Mitchell would be a whole lot of hot mess. Especially after Mr. Mitch declared that he chose Ra’mon so he could “carry him.” I normally love me an adorable gay man, but this guy is just too much.

And how does he welcome his partner to the team? By criticizing Ra’mon for picking out “some pretty ugly things.” You know what, Mitchell? Ra’mon might have an eclectic taste in fabrics, but at least his clothes look good. Yours, on the other hand… well, we’ve all seen your crap coming down the runway (and the nipples exposed beneath it). And so did the judges, which is why you haven’t made it out of the bottom two yet!

Ooooh, SNAP!

Moving on to other drama, because there was other drama. Mostly involving a – SURPRISE!! – second look that each team needed to make. Somehow, all the teams pulled a second look together (some more successfully/less sluttily than others) and everyone sent something down the runway. Even Ra’Mon, who pulled his look together with only 25 minutes to go.

He did so well in fact, that he indeed carried Mitchell into the top two, along with Team Johnny/Irena. I am not sure why either team took that coveted spot (I personally think Althea and Louise totally rocked that runway), but it did make for quite an interesting discussion with the judges.

Mitchell, not the brightest fabric in the store, revealed to the Max Azria and Rachel Bilson (adorbs) that Ra’mon did most of the work even though he was the team leader. He made sure they knew he did the bathing suit – that no one saw – but told them quite boastfully that Ra’Mon did “everything else.”

Insert sound of crickets chirping.

What? You came on this SHOW and didn’t do one thing? You, Mitchell, are like that kid in the class that sits back during a group project and lets everyone else do all the work… and then you get the same A as the rest of us (because my groups always get an A). I hate people like you.

But it’s OK, because in the end everyone got what they deserved. Ra’Mon took home the trophy and, finally, Mitchell got some Heidi stiletto in his ass. Later, Mitchell. We’ll miss you.

Pause.

Not.

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