Single. And Pissed Off At The Ladies

A very good friend of mine recently had her heart torn into pieces by her ex-bf. Now, in my humble opinion there are two foolproof ways to try and get over this. The first option is to hook up with Jude Law. The second is to have a good old fashion ladies’ night. Since the first option is pretty implausible (though apparently possible if you nanny his children), a few of us decided that a night of female only fun was definitely in order.

I guess maybe I should have been more specific when I said, “Don’t invite any guys. It’s going to be only girls. Just women. People with vaginas. Thanks.” The first friend pulled the, “I hope you don’t mind but I invited this foreign exchange student I just met. He needs more friends!” The second sprung the the, “My boyfriend is in the area so he’s going to meet us” (By ‘meet us’ she meant come hang out for 15 minutes before they both left). The friend we planned the failed extravaganza for…you guessed it, ended up calling her ex to pick her up.

And, I’ll admit, I’m the pot calling the kettle boy-crazy… I spent a large quantity of the night in a corner texting my latest love interest.

What the e-f-f is HAPPENING? Now trust me, I understand that when you like a guy you (duh) like spending time with them. But I swear, I want to kidnap half of my friends and tape their eyes open while forcing them to watch 48 straight hours of Lifetime until they remember the meaning of female solidarity. Whether it’s a boyfriend or a boy friend or just some boy, it seems we have a hard time prying ourselves away from the opposite sex…even for one little night.

Am I allowed to be pissed off? I’m going to say yes, a bit. Mostly because I thought friendships mattered, but it seems for a lot of girls, they’re just a thing you pretend to do while waiting for a boyfriend. I get 30 texts a day from my girl friends, but if there’s a guy in the picture, I get one every two weeks (usually when they’ve fought). My roommate last year went from being one of my best friends to a girl in need of a freaking search party once she got a boyfriend (I’m serious, I didn’t see her for a month straight, and I lived. with. her.). Do boyfriends genuinely take up as much time as an internship at Vogue, or are gals making this choice?

Are your girlfriends just for filler?

Let’s hope not. Friends are a wonderful, wonderful thing…they make you laugh, they call you pretty, and you don’t even have to go down on them! Sure, it’s a delicate balancing act; you don’t want to completely ignore your friends or your significant other. But both friendships and romantic relationships are completely essential. It’s worth mastering the art.

So single or coupled, I urge you to make the effort. Come on, we are better than this! Women can talk on the phone for literally hours about nothing! So call up your favorite friend you’ve been neglecting, and talk about absolutely nothing; just don’t talk about men.

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