Sinning Will Save The Economy

With the recession guilting me into sacrificing unnecessary luxuries (oh, multiple, daily Starbucks runs, how I miss you!), I’m wondering how others are handling their own sacrifices. Our daily indulgences have now become something to shake a finger at, but many industries are still thriving by playing into our addictions.

As humans, we have inner demons that can only be quieted by indulging in our uncontrollable desires. Take the concept of the Seven Deadly Sins. Depending on your beliefs or interpretations, you may agree that we have a natural inclination towards these temptations. For example, I totally lust after my boyfriend’s six pack, I greedily horde my money, I’m a glutton for any sort of frozen yogurt, and I envy Megan Fox’s…everything.

Being the crafty marketing team they are, America’s consumer industries are exploiting our desires to indulge in these Seven Deadly Sins (and are getting filthy rich because of it!). Hey, maybe if we all sinned a bit more, we could nix this recession like Cain did Abel! Ready to be a bad girl? Hit up these industries to silence your inner, money spending demon:

Lust – While the recession has taken away many things, at least it’s bringing sexy back! Erotic industries, such as sex toy company Babeland, have seen a 25% increase in sales. Makes sense: The less hours you’re given at your job, the more quality time you have to spend with your brand new Mini Pink Leopard Vibe! The best part? Babeland is always having sales to keep you “cumming” back for more. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

Gluttony- Did your latest paycheck leave your pockets feeling empty? At least you can still fill your tummy with greasy, affordable goodness! Americans appreciate the cheap convenience of fast food, so we keep hitting those drive-thrus and saving our money. It’s a trade-off, because we sacrifice good health for a good deal, but no one wants to shell out big money for the organic aisle at Walmart. And thanks to that logic, Ronald McDonald’s painted-on, red smirk is widening by the fiscal year.

Greed- Hit up Vegas recently? Despite declining tourism in Vegas, I’ve noticed that the casinos in my area of Northern California (including Reno and Lake Tahoe) are still emptying pockets like nobody’s business. Our insatiable, greed-driven thirst for money and power is continually fed by these casino industries. They are doing so well, in fact, that my town’s closest casino has drummed up enough income to begin construction on a swanky resort hotel. Because nothing says a good time like driving ten minutes from your home to check into a hotel and throw your money away at the craps table.

Sloth- Psh, if I were the embodiment of a sin, Sloth would be my name and Lazy would be my game. After finally deciding to get some Dish Network up in the apartment I share with the boyfriend, I chose to shell out the extra deuce for DVR. You don’t get any lazier than “I’m too tired to even flip through channels. Where’s that Little Couple episode I recorded last night?” You girls all gotta admit you would/do pay extra for the convenience of being lazy via your boob tube.

Wrath- Personally, I don’t get down with the emotion of anger. You can say I’m a lover, not a fighter. But tell that to the Hooters that has men spilling out of their doors and windows just to watch the UFC fight and chow down on some chicken waaangs. Granted, it doesn’t hurt that there are some hot mamas providing this service. But by these guys living vicariously through cauliflower-eared, sweaty men beating the hell out of each other, they are perpetuating the sin of Wrath. And Dana White is sinfully wealthy because of it!

Envy- The Green-Eyed monster can be found in almost any industry. Particularly those in which sales rely on the fact that girls are constantly in competition with each other. We buy magazines just to drool over the bodies we are jealous of, the ads for shoes we could never afford, the articles about overachievers that make us feel unsuccessful in comparison…and we just end up more envious than we did to begin with.

Pride– Taking pride in your appearance is vital to social acceptance and self-confidence. But you gotta admit that with plastic surgery, celebrity emulation, buckets of makeup and clocking hours in the mirror, we take vain to the next level. With our persistant focus on our outer appearance, industry big-wigs like Dr. Rey and M.A.C. Cosmetics are riding high on our hard earned dollars.

So, yeah, you may be feeling guilty for giving into your sinful consumer ways. But consider your participation in our economy a good deed. Don’t let your buyer’s remorse or shopping guilt get you down, my Angelic American. Because sometimes, it just feels good to be bad.

Intro To Cooking: Monday Night Chicken Pot Pie
Intro To Cooking: Monday Night Chicken Pot Pie
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