Best Friends for Never: 5 Girls To Avoid

Does this look like best friend material?

While we may have known many of our besties since elementary school, they say college is where you meet your bridesmaids. I don’t know who the hell “they” are, but it seems true enough. After four years of late night pizza runs, Friday night pre-gaming and makeup sessions, and spooning in tiny twin beds, you are bound to make those tight knit friendships.

You meet a ton of girls during your college years. Some are your long lost sisters, your soul mates for life. And then there are others, many others, that just aren’t BFF material. If we are in fact meeting our bridesmaids, we have to be careful when making friends, lest we end up with some husband-stealing ho bag who shows up drunk or skips out of the wedding early to make the other two weddings she has scheduled that day.

Here’s the list of girls to avoid at all costs. They will only make your life harder, so save yourself the stress (and the pimple that comes with it) and steer clear!

The Overachiever

"Sorry, I have 4 meetings and a group project today. Maybe we can hang next week?"

Being motivated is a great thing. Being involved in your school is, too. But when her agenda is packed full of events, coffee dates, club meetings and post-it notes to remind her of her itinerary (and her friends), there’s a problem. It’s usually just obnoxious that they feel the need to do absolutely everything, but the real problem comes when you try and be their friend and they make you feel like you’re setting back their whole schedule. You shouldn’t have to fit into someone else’s schedule (maybe they can pencil you in for next Thursday at 3:52?). Just move to the side, and let the Energizer Bunny bulldoze through; it’ll save you the embarrassment of having to admit you’re going to lay in your bed and watch Friends reruns all afternoon.

The One with All Guy Friends

"I like sports and guy things!"

So she can hang with the guys; kick up her feet, have a cold one and watch some football. Cool, right? Only if she can also talk fashion mags over coffee dates, too. Something just doesn’t match up when all of a girl’s close friends are men. Why can’t she connect with other girls? Is it because she only makes friends through sexual favors? Is she a backstabber who can only reconcile with the guys who could really care less if people talk bad behind their back? Not to say that this goes for every situation, but just be careful, it’s a little iffy.

The Gossiper

"She has herpes."

She’s fueling the rumor mill, and you’re probably the next to be on it. She knows just how to get you talking about your private life, and she can twist anything into an ultra-juicy tidbit to pass through the dorms. Hang with her today and you’ll be the druggie, slutty, insecure loser by tomorrow.

The Clubhead /PartyHead/ I Just Want to Drink Head

"Class? What's that?"

I wouldn’t say avoid her all the time. If you run into her at the party on Friday night, she would make a great pong partner and it might be fun to throw back a couple of shots with her, too. But in general, she is bad news. She is uber-convincing that any alcohol related activity is better than doing whatever productive thing you may be doing at the time. That means homework, jobs, exercising and anything else that qualifies you as a successful human being, will fly out the window.

The Drama Queen

"I can't believe I got a C AND lost my cell phone in the day! WAAAAH"

Everything is a sob story, and you’re sole purpose in life will be to console her. She just has so much homework; her boyfriend only gave her chocolate for Valentines Day (where’s the Tiffany’s?!); her parents won’t let her go away on Spring break; wah wah wahhhhh. We all have our problems, but we don’t all feel the need to whine about them 24/7. Honestly? If you cross her path you’ll be recruited as the next Dr. Phil, and none of us need that.

What other girls around campus make you turn and run in the other direction?

The Know: A Little For You, A Little For Them
The Know: A Little For You, A Little For Them
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