Duke It Out: What Is Cheating?

[It’s pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman, so we thought we’d give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I’ll be featuring a hot topic (like coed rommmates!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

Well, now that group sex is on the menu, it seems like a good time to clarify an age old debate – what is cheating? Some say it’s sex, others say kissing, still others say even thoughts can be cheating, so now it’s time to voice your vote ladies; in a world of committed threesomes, phone sex and the office wife, what really counts as cheating?

We’ve all heard the old “zip code” rule and it’s variants – “it doesn’t count if you’re not in the same zip code/state/country/bedroom” and I for one have never bought into it, but there might be some others that I would at least consider more forgivable. Level of alcohol, for instance, could definitely be a factor, and the same goes for drugs. Anything mind altering at least makes it slightly more reasonable that you didn’t know what you were doing.

But then, what were you doing? Sex? Sex would definitely cross my “cheater” line, regardless of who it was with, and I don’t buy that “oral/anal isn’t really sex” thing either. But what about making out? And how many kisses qualify as making out? Or is it just kissing, because I have certainly had some kisses where I was not a willing participant.

Then of course you get into the kinky sex idea – is a threesome cheating? How about swinging? If both parts of your relationship are willing partners, it doesn’t seem like it should count as cheating – but at the same time, I can’t say that I wouldn’t want to do this if I saw my guy with another woman (I admit, I’m the jealous type). But then, what if I was with another woman? If a girl who’s not inherently sexually attracted to women has an experimental night, is that cheating too? (Note: my BF says it’s OK as long as I video it. Thanks, honey.)

And what happens if there’s nothing physical? We’ve all heard the phrase “emotional affair” thrown around and the idea of the office wife is pretty common, so does non-physical cheating still count? It would be a lot harder to detect, and a lot harder to accuse someone of. In fact, an emotional affair, in a lot of ways, would be like having a best friend, except that there might be some potential for sexual attraction. At what point does a close, personal bond cross into cheating territory?

Ok, so I’ve posed a lot of ideas here – now it’s time for you to do the heavy-lifting. It’s time to tell the world what we really think cheating is. The horizontal mambo? A little tongue-hockey? Or is there something more to it altogether?  Duke it out, girls!

Coupled. This is Fo Realz
Coupled. This is Fo Realz
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