Single. And My “Ex” Isn’t

"Oh, you have a girlfriend now? Awesome."

Fact: 100% of girls, always, look like complete sh*t at the gym. While I’m the exception to many rules, I am not the exception to this one. So you can imagine my horror, my utter horror, when I ran into a guy I used to date at the gym yesterday.

[To recap: we casually dated for about three months, during which we completely acted like a couple, but were not labeled as such. Why? Because he “doesn’t believe in relationships.”]

I asked him how he was doing, and he said school was good, blah blah blah, his girlfriend just got a new job, blah blah blah…WAIT WHAT?! Girlfriend? But…but when we were dating he said he didn’t believe in relationships! That monogamy was a sham! That labels ruined things!

My initial reactions were:
1) Jack him in the face.
2) Wait, you can’t throw a punch. Kick him in the balls.
3) Why was I not girlfriend material?

Let’s call it for what it is. There is no way in which this situation is not completely depressing. This is a person who snuggled with me, took me to dinner, told me how pretty I was, told me how smart I was, and still told me he didn’t want me to be his girlfriend. And now, just a few short months later, someone was his girlfriend someone was good enough to be his girlfriend.

And of course in my head I’m just thinking of the 10,000 ways she has to be better than me. She probably doesn’t have cellulite. She probably doesn’t have an annoying horse laugh. She probably looks like Heidi Klum, and sweats Chanel No. 5, and is as brilliant as Marie Curie, and doesn’t use run on sentences.

Since he and I stopped seeing each other, I can honestly say I’ve gotten over him. But it still hurts to find out that Mr. Non-Committal is suddenly Mr. Monogamy for someone else. And realistically I know I can’t completely blame myself…we were just two people who didn’t exactly have that connection. And now he does have that connection. With someone who is not me. Okay, I tried, but it’s not working; I’m still blaming myself!

Also running through me head is: how could I have been so STUPID? “I don’t believe in commitment?” I mean, it is one thing to take things easy and not rush the relationship, but he was flat out telling me that he never, ever intended on me being his girlfriend. He might as well have literally told me, “You are fine to spend time with until I like somebody better.”

Ultimately, I accepted someone else’s terms instead of what I really wanted. So while I won’t get all Alanis on his ass, I’m going to go ahead and say Commitment-phobic is a jackass. Way to pretend you have deeply rooted morals just to avoid growing some balls and telling the truth.

Still, I wish I had been wearing makeup and a better bra when I saw him…

Duke It Out: What Is Cheating?
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