The Project Runway Rundown: What’s Black and White and Blah All Over?

I have a confession to make: I was more excited about my California Pizza Kitchen leftovers last night than I was about Project Runway. Now, I’m sure most of you are thinking to yourself, “Obvi. CPK is the, so who wouldn’t be super excited about those?” And I agree – it was the roasted eggplant pizza, which is just phenom – but I still think I should have been more excited about my favorite TV show.

Well, my former favorite TV show.

I am trying so hard to get excited about this season of PRW, but I just….can’t. Yes, some of the designers (Althea, Ra’Mon) are talented, but they are all just so blah. I mean, let’s get real, the most exciting person on the show (or the most exciting to watch, rather) is Johnny, the former meth-head-turned-pathological-liar who somehow snuck onto the show with a box of needles and zero talent.

Where is the drama? Where are the funny people? Why do I insist on sitting through an hour of this show every week, bored to tears and dreaming about my pizza that’s sitting in the fridge? And how am I supposed to get excited about a bunch of boring people making dresses out of the L.A. Times?

Anyone who is anyone knows that the L.A. Times is good for one thing and one thing only: the crossword puzzle. Was this a PR opportunity for a dying business? Some ploy by the L.A. Times to report higher sales to their advertisers since the designers each took 300 papers?  And how do you think Al Gore felt about this obvious waste of precious materials?!

I agree that it’s pretty awesome to see what some designers can do with such an unconventional material – hell, I can barely fold the newspaper back up after I read it – but that assumes that you’ve got some good designers on your hands. Not people like Johnny, Epperson or Nicolas.

Not that it’s Johnny’s fault, of course. I mean he had a beautiful, Dolce and Gabbana looking gown that got ruined while he was steaming it! Wait… what?
That’s not the true story?
Wait, there’s proof ON FILM that Tim Gunn told him it looked like crapola and he balled it up and threw it away?
What? No!

What is wrong with this dude? I don’t want to be insensitive to his former drug addiction, but is it possible he’s still using something? There is no other explanation for the “birds lifting the dress” dress, the new piece of crap he came up with, or the ridiculous lies. Seriously, Johnny might be the best “This is your brain on drugs” ad campaign there ever was.

Maybe that’s what he can do now that he’s out of a job. Not only did Heidi “Auf” him, but he pissed off Tim Gunn. No one pisses off  the Gunn and expects to make it in the fashion industry. No one.

And I’m pretty sure I know one other person who shouldn’t be going anywhere in fashion: me. Mostly because I didn’t think there was anything special about Irina’s trench coat made of newspaper clippings and spitballs on the collar. It looked cheesy and ugly compared to all the other looks where the newspaper was totally unrecognizable. But the judges LOVED the jacket. It was the winner! Even Eva Longoria Parker and liked it, and she’s a style icon. (Note: I’d understand if Lohan was judging this ep and liked the jacket – that girl is crazy – but Eva?!)

I guess Project Runway and I just aren’t meshing like we used to. I’ll keep watching in hopes that something better has to happen soon, but I think we might be past the point of no return.

Cosmo Says The Darndest Things: October Edition
Cosmo Says The Darndest Things: October Edition
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