Project Runway Rundown: Lights, Camera, Hot Green Mess

ProjectRunwayKlumSo, yesterday was a bad day. A very bad day.

My dog was put to sleep.

I had a feeling the time was coming – my little Bichon was 15 years old – but hearing my mother tell me that my childhood pet was gone was shockingly painful. And unfortunately for me, none of the hundreds of people that I saw as I walked from the library to my apartment could hear what was happening on the other side of the call…and only saw me sobbing/wiping snot from my face with the palm of my hand.

When I finally did make it home, I was numb. People were calling to check in on me, offering to take me out. I really wanted nothing more than to sit on my couch and cry into a box of tissues, but then I realized I only had paper towel and after a few rounds of sobs into that sand paper, I realized I needed to get out of the house. I needed to distract myself and the only thing that could do that was TV. Reality TV. Project Runway.

So, I met up with a friend for martinis and some quality PRW. I knew that Tim Gunn, Heidi Klum and Epperson could cheer me up, or at least keep my (now hazy, thank you martini!) mind off of things.

Yeah right. Fast forward 53 minutes to judgment time and I’m sobbing once again.

Last night’s challenge was to design a costume for a Hollywood film. (And, obviously, that weird L’Oreal Paris guy was there to pimp his makeup.) The designers had to choose from a few different film genres and create a character, a story and a look within that genre. Tim pulled names out of that little velour (of course he’d have velour!) bag of his, which decided what order designers could pick their genre.

One by one the genres were nabbed up. Last to be picked: Western. It was like the fat kid on the kickball team at recess. (Read: me.) Poor Western, no one wanted it. But it got its vindication later when both Shirin and Epperson created some kickass costumes.

Some of the designers had a really difficult time with this challenge, and rightfully so; for the first time they were being asked to be more costume-y instead of dialing things back. I can only imagine how hard it is to think of things on that level. Others were more successful. It all came down to quite an interesting and exciting runway show. Only, once again, I was left questioning my own taste in fashion as the judges made some shocking and horrifying decisions (that sent me reaching for the tissues/vodka once again).

First of all, Carol Hannah totally get robbed from a top spot this week. Her look was hot and fierce, and definitely better than that white mess of Nikolas’. In fact, Nikolas’ win was what got my tears re-started in the first place. Ok, so it was alright (minus the whole “jizz in her hair” thing), but the judges were ranting and raving about Christopher’s dress. It was gorgeous and he lost to some ice princess with frozen leaves on her shoulder?

But fine – let Nikolas have a win. Let him get all cocky and mess up somewhere down the road. I’m fine with that. What I’m not fine with, and what completely and utterly shocked me to my core and did not help lighten my mood, was the decision to send Ra’Mon home.

Yes, his dress looked like an ugly swamp thing shedding her skin during mating season. Yes, he could have done a lot better with the sewing. I get it. But this is Ra’Mon! He’s the most talented designer on that show! He made one mistake and we’re going to punish him for it? We let Johnny stay around for 4 episodes before giving him the boot! And Michael Kors has been making mistakes for years and he’s still charging $800 for a dress at Neiman’s. WHAT THE HELL?

Seriously, this reminds me of the time my friends wanted to take me to a movie to cheer me up after a bad boy situation. So what did we see? Monster’s Ball. Yeah, only the loss of Ra’Mon was more depressing. I don’t know what to feel anymore. I lost my dog and my designer in a single day.

TGIF. I need a drink.

Holy Sh*t, That’s a Big Baby
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