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Project Runway Rundown: I Hate Ruffles.

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ProjectRunwayKlumAfter the judges decided to boot Ra’mon (the most talented designer on the show) last week, I really wanted to boycott Project Runway. There is so much other great TV on Thursday nights (Ace of Cakes, The Office, Community) that I didn’t feel the need to watch the same show that had turned its back on me the week before.

Also, I was invited out to the bar for some tasty drink specials. Clearly $1 beers would trump anything, even if Ra’Mon was still around.

So I went out for some drinks…and then came home to see what shenanigans the Project Runway designers would get involved in this week. And let me say – watching the show buzzed is truly the only way to go. I was wearing beer goggles and everything was just so much better!

The challenge was to design a look for I.N.C., a Macy’s brand. The designs had to be in blue and the designers had to work in teams.

As usual, the designers had to send their models to the Garnier hair studio and the L’Oreal Paris makeup room, and to use accessories from the Macy’s accessory wall which had been stocked with I.N.C. shoes.

I don’t know about you, but it seems like maybe these companies are paying to have their brands on the show. Could it be??

Anyways, the designers worked and sewed and bitched about their teammates. Epperson and Chris had a designer love affair in the back (which clearly blinded them to what the h-e-double hockey sticks they were doing), Nikolas whined about ruffles in the front, and Irena talked. A lot. Homegirl might be a good designer, but her voice is like nails on a mother effing chalkboard. She just needs to stop.

When it was time for the runway I wasn’t too excited to see the designs on display – I didn’t see anything really interesting in the work room and I was pretty sure this snoozefest would only give me the blues. (Ha! See what I did there?) But then I  saw Michael Kors back in his hot seat! I was wondering where my little nugget had been all these weeks and could have jumped up and kissed the TV (if there hadn’t been a bowl of steaming hot Easy Mac on my lap).

Seriously, how can you not love a man that comes up with this:

louise dress

“It looks like a cheap bridesmaids dress with a loofah up the front.”

Clearly, he didn’t like the look. Clearly, no one in their right mind would like that look. (In my drunk mind, I still didn’t like that look.) Not so clear, though, is why the judges liked Irena’s look. The length was weird, the bottom looked like something someone would wear when they were knocked up and didn’t want to tell anyone, and it just didn’t look cute. But then again, no one really made anything cute. It was almost a “best of the worst” sort of situation:

irena dress carol hannah shirt

“Should we go with Irena’s modern maternity dress or Carol Hannah’s cheap looking tunic?”

At least Irena’s dress didn’t look like someone picked it up at Wet Seal.

So, yeah, Irena won. I’m pretty sure that would have been Althea had hottie-boom-bottie Logan not made a skirt that showed off his model’s fallopian tubes. It’s OK, though, those two made it to next week anyway..and had some alone time behind the runway to get. it. on. in celebration.

What? That’s what I would do if I had 3 minutes alone with that guy. Rar.

COLLEGECANDY Writer
When my mom moved me into my dorm freshman year she left me $65 to buy a humidifier. I took that money and bought a pair of heels because I can sleep without damp air blowing in my face, but I can't rock a humidifier with a hot black mini.