The Weekly Ten: Worst Halloween Costumes. Ever.


Real creative, ladies.


Every week I make a list of ten things. Whether it’s ten words/phrases that piss me off or my fave leading ladies, you can count on me to countdown every Monday the same way you can count on Jon Gosselin to be an epic Douche Bigalow.

In the spirit of the season and my favorite holiday of all time, I’ve decided to countdown the ten worst Halloween costumes imaginable.

As a dedicated Halloween goer-over-the-topper, my mother never once let me buy my costume. In fact, to this day, I can admit that I’ve only had one store-bought costume as of last year: Whoremione Granger. That’s it. And I still regret it to this day. Guilty of some of the below? Check out CollegeCandy’s better alternatives.

10. The slutty bumblebee
Firstly, horizontal stripes are a no-no, no matter how much of a stick you are. Secondly, a slutty bug? Really? Of all things? Thirdly, confession: bees are actually the scariest thing in the world to me, so frankly it just upsets me to see them in any form. Especially large, at risk for nipple slips and holding a beer.

9. Naughty School Girl
Admittedly, I am guilty of this one. Looking back, I’m ashamed that I just slapped on my old uniform and passed off what I used to wear daily as a “costume.” Apologies, Sister Pat.

8. “I’m Drunk”
You ask, “What are you supposed to be?” Usually a bro answers with this. Holding a red solo cup. Real creative.

7. Witch
Halloween staple. Cool. Zzzz.

6. Devil and Angel
Awww, you and your bestie wanted to do something coordinated. Cute. But, there are so many other more awesome things you could be. Examples: Brian and Stewie, Cartman and Kyle, even Khloe and Kourtney would be a step up from this cliche.

5. Fairy
Slapping on some cheap wings and glitter does not make an acceptable Halloween costume. You can do better, ladies.

4. The Joker
It’s just so 2008, or in the wise words of Fergie: 2000 and late.

3. Santa Ho
Wrong holiday. No one needs to be thinking about Christmas this early.

2. Athlete
You put on a jersey? Super impressed.

1. Sexy _____
Fill in the blank with any career. Sexy nurse. Sexy cop. Sexy firefighter. Sexy cabbie? Sexy Elmo?? Are you serious?! Excuse me while I barf candy corn.

What Halloween costumes would you do without?

Overheard: Toilet Ale
Overheard: Toilet Ale
  • 10614935101348454