I remember the first weekend I went home with my boyfriend; it was the dreaded “introduce-my-girlfried-to-my-mom-and-hope-they-don’t-hate-each-other” weekend. Matt kept telling me his mom was a really nice woman and that she’d love me, but I was terrified. She already knew that I was having “explicit relations” with her son, and she’s retired Navy, so I had convinced myself that I was walking into a deathtrap.
All I really had to go on were my friends and family members who had HORRIBLE experiences with boyfriend’s/husband’s moms. My mother and my grandmother can’t be in the kitchen together without someone trying to hit the other with a frying pan. My sister was called a whore by her religious future mother-in-law the first time they met because she had brought a Cosmo along for the 6 hour drive to meet her. Even my good friend Sarah’s boyfriend’s mom hates her because Sarah’s dog bit her on their first meeting.
So it took a lot of convincing from my dear BF to stop my hands and voice from shaking before walking into the house to meet his momma. (Too bad he couldn’t assist with the pit stains that had formed in my fit of fear…)
And low and behold, we got along great!!!! I was so thankful! We were both theatre and band kids in high school, we both like crafty things (knitting, crocheting, sewing, etc), and we even have the same taste in movies and TV. When we left, Matt told me that he could tell his mom really liked me.
Flash forward to now and Ellen and I have become really close. She calls on weekends to chat, we swap recipes, and she’s even giving me her mother’s sewing machine because she knows I can’t afford one. She’s completely gone out of her way to make me feel like a part of the family. I feel so lucky, and I am well aware of how horrible I could’ve had it. I don’t even know what it would be like to dread the big mom visit every now and then, or to walk on eggshells around this woman.
It was really important to Matt – and I’m sure the same can be said for most guys – that his girlfriend get along with his mother. Lucky for me, it was easy. But what if your boyfriend’s mom is the spawn of Satan? What if, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t get that woman on Team You? Clearly, as is the case with my parents, that doesn’t mean the end of your relationship, but how do you handle it? And can it put a strain on things with you and your man?
Have you ever dealt with this? Got some stories or advice to share? Please do; I’m sure there are plenty of ladies who need it.