Note to the Guys: Bring the Sexy This Halloween!

Once you reach the age of 16 Halloween has permanently been transformed from a day where you dress up as something disgusting and stuff your face with candy to the one day a year it is socially acceptable to have your lady parts hanging out all over the place (although I’m still a sucker for those gummy eyeballs).

I would venture a (pretty accurate) guess that Halloween may be guys’ favorite day of the year, perhaps after Valentine’s Day when girlfriends everywhere trade their sweats for lacy, red baby dolls. For an entire night college guys get to sit back, beer in hand and ogle the boobs and asses that shimmy past. Not to mention that their fantasies come to life for that one night. Sexy nurse? Slutty cheerleader? Hot maid? Now that I think of it, this day isn’t a day of ghouls and pumpkins at all – it’s a day to celebrate and indulge the horny-ness of men.

Obviously, us girls aren’t completely opposed to this idea. We take a disgusting amount of pleasure in shimmying into a spandex costume that leaves nothing to the imagination, sucking down some jungle juice and taking five million pictures as our slutty character of choice. But that doesn’t mean that this setup is fair. If we are transforming ourselves into a man’s wet dream, shouldn’t they do the same in return?

Sorry guys but the “funny” costumes just aren’t doing the trick. Yes, there will always be that goofball who comes dressed as a girl or a penis, and we appreciate their humor. We will even take 85 pictures with this person and possibly even dance with him. But leave these costumes to the scrawny clowns with nothing to flaunt. If you have muscles of any kind, we would like to see them.

Us, girls need a little eye candy too, you know.

Suggestions? Let’s start with Men in uniform. This is a highly recommended category. Police officer? Fire man? Athlete? Yes, Yes and Yes please. If you have those bulging biceps or a nice rear end, please show them off.

I would also suggest the macho man category. You know, Gangster, cowboys (mmm chaps)….any character that is tough and not scared to get his hands dirty. And, I’m just putting it out there, any costume that includes a Speedo or thong is fine by me.

As Halloween quickly approaches I am sitting with fingers crossed that all the cute guys on campus aren’t busy planning their Michael Jackson costumes (unless they have the moonwalk and groin thrust to accompany it…then perhaps this is acceptable) or breaking out the Star Wars uniforms.

Can we please get a little sexy this year, guys?

The Morning After: The Toilet Water Incident
The Morning After: The Toilet Water Incident
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