Long distance relationships suck. End of story. But what about semi-long distance relationships? You know, the guys who live all the way on the other side of campus. Sure, it may only be a mile but that’s like having hoes in different area codes when you’re in college. There are different restaurants over there, different bars; it’s a whole new world.
I recently ended things with a guy who lived across campus. The whole thing was just so hard. Everything was such a process and neither of us ever wanted to go back to the other’s place just knowing how freaking long that walk home would be (or how expensive the cab ride). I tried to make it work but our combined laziness made it impossible. So I shipped him off to his side of campus and decided to look closer to home for my newest conquest.
And I found one who lived just up the street. Score! My life was now complete, right? Well, sorta. Turns out, dating a guy close to home has its own set of problems. And by problems I mean I never know when he’s gonna pop up on my walk home. From the gym. When I’m a hot, sweaty mess.
I’m sorta stuck at the moment on what would make the best no-strings-attached situation, so I decided to make a list weighing out the benefits of dating a neighbor vs. doing the cross-campus booty commute. Let’s see what we’re dealing with:
Neighbor: Easy, breezy and less embarrassing Walk of Shame in the morning.
Commuter: The WOS is longer, but you take in some great scenery on the way. And who knows? You might be able to fit in a few errands on your way.
Neighbor: Convenience, duh. Getting together is totally simple and plans can be made on the fly. Like, at 3am when you’re chowing down on a $1 slice and the urge for some dessert overwhelms you.
Commuter: You’ve got your own space. You can do your thang and not worry that you’ll run into him at inopportune times: when you’re picking up tampons, when you’re picking up Immodium, or when you’re coming home from Spin class and your hair is sticking to your forehead.
Neighbor: It’s so easy to get together, he’d rarely say no.
Commuter: It’s such a hassle to get together that when you do, you know for sure it’s not just cuz he’s bored.
Neighbor: Cheaper. No cabs. No buses. No making up excuses to get over to his side of town.
Commuter: Did I mention the whole “not running into him” thing? Cuz that’s key. Especially after you embarrass yourself and never want to see him again. Ever.
Clearly, there is no winner in either situation. Especially me. Either I have to fork over my dignity for a long Walk of Shame or fork over my freedom for a short one.
Or just find someone across campus with a car.
That might be the best option yet.