The writers over at The Ultimate Hatelist composed a list of the Top 10 Most Hated People on Facebook: The Constant Status Updater, Facebook Couples, People Who Post Little Pictures… Clearly, we agree with them. Those girls with the freakin’ peace-sign-and-pouty-lip pics (of course we never do that in pictures!) and the people who actually pay for Facebook gifts (you’re throwing away money on a birthday cupcake floating in cyberspace during economic times like this?!) should go back where they belong: MySpace.
But we got to thinking, and while there are those people who we want to punch right through the computer screen every time we load up our NewsFeed (read: every 4 minutes), there are also some that we truly love. Those who make our Facebook experience what it is. Those we can’t get enough of and know Facebook just wouldn’t be the same without.
I appreciate a witty saying every now and then, and when I sign on to Facebook to procrastinate I’d like to be greeted with a laugh, not some vague song lyric begging for attention/Facebook gifts. Which is why I love the comedian. He’s funny, he’s quick on his feet and he always has a funny status update or video posted for me to enjoy. This guy is a real pal, bringing a little happiness to hours of homework and studying.
The Girl Who Never Left Home
When you’re having one of those God awful weeks where you bombed a test, fought with your boyfriend and realized you have no idea what you want to do with your life, stalking this girl always makes you feel better. While everyone else left home only to return on holiday breaks, she’s still living in her parent’s basement, getting fat at the same deli you ate at for four years of off-campus lunch, and parties with the coolest of the cool…high school seniors. Seeing her life makes you feel a whole lot better about yours. It might be mean, but it’s true.
The Facebook Album Addict
You may not be close friends with her (and this character is always a her), but you know her well enough to end up in some of her many pictures from last night’s epic party. The same pictures she uploaded, tagged and captioned the moment she got home. At 3am. While you were out eating breadsticks. Not only do you not have to bring your camera out with you (and risk dropping it in a pitcher of beer….again), but all you have to do is log in to Facebook to see your entire college experience documented in photos instantaneously. Without the hassle of tagging yourself. What a gem.
Your Friend’s Parents
Your parents on Facebook? Annoying. Your friends’ parents on Facebook? Hilarious. You get to watch them post embarrassing comments on pictures of your friends doing keg stands (“Looks like you take after your father”) and all decked out in a little black dress (“Put some clothes on missy! Love, mom.”). And when they upload that pic of your friend squeezed between Grandma and Aunt Ruth at the family reunion? Priceless.
The Chronic Commenter
Why else do we write a status if not for other people to read it? And whether the status requires a response of laughter, consolation or congratulations, the chronic commenter always has your back. You never have to worry that your status will go unacknowledged and into the deep Status abyss; it will always be “liked” by at least one person, and sometimes, when we’re laughing to ourselves while posting it, that’s all were asking for.
The Party Girl
You thought you were fun but this girl is obviously the party queen and she has 400 albums to prove it. Maybe you think it’s annoying that she uploaded a million pictures, but I think scrolling though drunken party pics is a whole lot more entertaining than reading about Kant’s moral philosophy. So snap away, party girl, snap away. And if there are a couple pouty-face-peace-signs in there, I’ll let them go. I’m just grateful to have something to keep me from having to study.
That Bitch Who Stole Your Boyfriend
But only when that beautiful pink broken heart shows up in your NewsFeed accompanied by depressing song lyrics and vague statements about trust and pain and falling in love.
What other characters do you guys love on Facebook?