Gossip Girl: 4 Boobs, 2 Girls, 1 Bad Romance

It seems to me that the more times goes on, the juicier Gossip Girl gets. It’s like chewing gum…only backwards. Which reminds me – have you tried those new Trident Layers? OMG I bought a pack last night at Target and that stuff is so good!

Ok, not the point.

Last night’s episode of Gossip Girl was good. Really good. Not only is there a pretty handsome new man lurking (and dealing drugs) on the Upper East Side, but Chuck Bass continued his streak as the good boy by protecting J-Humph from this bad boy’s ways. And if you didn’t totally swoon when Chuck told him off (something along the lines of, “I’m Chuck Bass and even Europeans know what that means”), you obviously have something seriously wrong with your libido.

But let’s get to the real good stuff. The stuff that can only come from an awkward threesome in Brooklyn. A love triangle that can only form once everybody has seen one another’s goodies/O faces. The kind of situation that Dan Humphrey would no doubt find himself in.

After last week’s 3some letdown, it was exciting to finally see some bits and pieces from the event. Even if they were from Dan’s slightly skewed memories and involved hair blowing in the wind and equal girl-on-Dan-time for all. Was it possible there was a fan set up on the bed for the girls’ hair to blow in? Sure. But as Nate pointed out, someone is always left out in a threesome….and we later discover that someone was Olivia (!!).

Kudos to the writers for thinking of the most creative way ever to stir up some new drama over at NYU. There were so many different ways to write Hilary Duff off the show and bring the Vanessa/Humphrey love story back into the mix, but having it happen as a result of a threesome is just brilliant. And hilarious. And, to the Parents Television Council, you’ll be happy to know that all the drama that came from it has made a threesome the last thing on my to-do list. (Unless it’s with Nate and Chuck…) So leave GG alone and turn your attention towards more important issues… like the Rock of Love bus.

Oh, and let me just say, it is no surprise that Dan has fallen in love with Vanessa (even if he didn’t realize it). Did you see her in the 3some? That girl is HOT.

But, interestingly enough, the NYU 3some wasn’t the only one happening last night. Somewhere, in a dark and expensive bar on the Upper East Side another one, possibly even more scandalous, was coming together. One that not only involved a public official, but 2 cousins. And shoulder pads. (If Serena’s linebacker shoulder pads are a sign of things to come in fashion, I’m jumping ship. That’s a road I refuse to go down…) Serena loves Tripp. Tripp loves Serena…and hates his manipulative wife who saved his campaign. But wait – Nate loves Serena. Remember Nate? That guy who used to be on the show all the time but hasn’t really made an appearance this season? Yeah, well he’s back and he wants a piece of Serena.

And they almost kiss…. until Tripp V. happens upon them – somehow – and sets the drama in motion.

Gah! So much happening; I can’t handle it! And I can’t handle Serena either. No, not just because she was wearing shoulder pads and fake press-on nails. She’s just acting so selfish. She gets mad at Nate for “not being there for her” when he doesn’t support her wanting to hook up with his MARRIED POLITICIAN COUSIN. Then she leaves with that married politician cousin and gets mad at Nate for trying to stop her. And then we see her swapping spit with him. Even though he’s married. And in the political spotlight. And cousins with her alleged best friend. Who just professed his love for her.

Serena’s making some bad choices and I’m finding myself slowly moving over to team Blair. Ok, so maybe that’s partly because I want to get closer to Chuck, but it’s mostly because I just can’t sympathize with Serena’s choices (both in fashion and in life) anymore.

Oh yeah. And Lady Gaga showed up with crazy hair and X’s over her nipples. Standard.

 

 

Dogs Make Monday Better
Dogs Make Monday Better
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