Are You Ready for the MTVu Woodies?

Thanks to our biffles over at MTV, I was able to go to the MTVu’s Woodie awards. What’s a woodie? Oh, please. Don’t act like you don’t know. The Woodie Awards is only the coolest, most underrated award show ever. Blending alternative music with rap, bringing Death Cab and Rick Ross together, MTVu brings my favorite coffee shop jams and booty shaking music together and rewards them with an awkward wooden statue.

Did I mention that the entire venue was crammed with kegs, Solo cups and celebs? Imagine a frat party. With Zooey Deschanel and Mary Louise Parker. Only the music doesn’t suck. And instead of your bestie making out with the make-shift bartender? A very sloppy David Cross is macking it with Amber Tamblyn.

The show airs tonight at 10PM on MTVu. And everyone who appreciates really good music (and booze) just needs to watch. Here’s a little taste of the going-ons:

– Me and my roommate – aka my assistant/Red Bull Vodka (more on that later) runner for the night – arrive and get placed in prime seating, inches away from the celebs and, more importantly, the open bar. We are closely behind some Real World d-bag who is waving to everyone in general admission. Bro, you are not famous. Sit down. Shut up.

– Pete Wentz in all his mangs (man bangs) glory gets on stage to kick off the Woodies, red Solo cup in hand and gives a big cheers to all the names here. Cam’ron‘s here? What!

Matt and Kim start the awards with a nearly nude performance. Loving it.

–  Is this a hipster event? There are Ray-Bans everywhere.

– Is David Cross REALLY dating Amber Tamblyn. Oh, they’re making out. Gross. Tobias Funke, you cupid.

– 3!Oh!3! Presents an award, in full-on Gaga attire. Loving them.

– I am so excited for the Death Cab performance, I can barely contain myself. My roommate has become besties with the keg pumper and keeps getting yelled at by the surprisingly dour MTV security.

– Tech N9ne! Seriously, what other MTV show gives you Passion Pit and TechN9ne in the same time frame? Beautiful.

– Passion Pit: Amazing performance. Red bull vodkas, delicious. Even tastier when they’re free.

– Who is this Alexa Chung person and why is she at every event I go to for MTV?

– P.O.S. rocks out right in the crowd.

– Death Cab was phenomenal live. Especially “Sound of Settling.” They’re so good. SO good.

– Cam’ron spotted with huge posse. Now about to perform. Must. Hang. Out. With. Him.

– Leighton & Cyndi Lauper present Woodie of the Year… fingers crossed for Silversun Pickups. My bets are on Kings of Leon.

– Kings of Leon it is. SHOULD I PULL A KANYE?

– No. Too drunk and too far. I need pizza. All this kegger-ness is making me hungry. My roommate is being belligerent and yelling at hipsters. Mary Louise Parker is wasted with all of us. Dead Weather is performing. Hello, Jack White. Okay Time to go home.

– Oh, but not without being hit on by some dude claiming to be in Cam’ron’s posse. I dole out a fake number and exit stage right. PEACE OUT!

Seriously, mix up some cocktails and tune into the Woodies tonight. This is a show not to be missed.

The CC Weekly Weigh In: All I Want For Christmas…
The CC Weekly Weigh In: All I Want For Christmas…
  • 10614935101348454