Gossip Girl: Dead Man Walking (on the UES)

Holy hell.
What. An. Episode!
I laughed (while Dan was forced to watch porn… that was a lot of moaning), I cried (Sigh. Chuck.) and I got very, very angry. Gah! They fit so much into that teeny, little hour and I just had to pause the show to take it all in…. and get a snack.

So here goes:

Tripp is so out, Nate is so in, and finally the world is back in order!

For those of who you who got caught up in the Tripp/Serena drama of last week and were still somehow pulling for this pathetic pushover, let me remind you of all the things he has done wrong since being introduced on Gossip Girl: He had an affair, he lied to Serena and left her in a house with no cable (but some really old pot), he agreed to an “open relationship” with his wife, he abandoned Serena in the midst of a car wreck and could have killed her by moving her, and he lets his psychotic bitch of a wife control him. Oh and did I mention the creepy factor that he’s dating 19-year-old? I mean, even though he’s a pretty hot congressman, that’s still pretty gross.

And the guy is just pathetic. He wants to give up his entire career for a teen socialite? Yeah, she’s got great hair but is that worth giving up your career?  Then he let’s his wife call all the shots, do crazy and illegal things and stands by her as she manipulates the entire UES for her own sick dream of being a politician’s wife (she’s certainly got the wardrobe down pat…). God, I thought Blair was evil, but this Maureen woman makes her look like Mother Theresa.

This entire situation is just one big lesson for all of us: don’t canoodle with a hot, young married politician who has a crazy wife who will bring down your family just so she can do a little wave outside of a helicopter behind the White House. Lesson learned, GG. Lesson learned.

Moving on.

While I was finally able to arouse some compassion for Serena (who wouldn’t when the poor girl’s head is bleeding in the front of an old Range Rover?), most of my heart went out to the one and only Chuck Bass. What? Homeboy looks good when he’s being haunted by his dead father. And we really got to see a side of Chuck that doesn’t come out often enough (much like his naked side…). I have no idea when Blair got to be so understanding and patient, but as Bart’s shadow haunted Chuck, she stuck around and showed her caring and compassionate side time and time again.  And while we all got flashes of Bart Bass, girls crowded around my little 13” TV just to see Chuck’s compassionate side grow.

And then we cried.

But not all of the “couples” on the show found such happiness.  Dan is still pining for Vanessa, but his “I love you” in the heat of the overbearing hospital fluorescent lights (where she was looking rather orange) was unrequited.  Jenny and Erik may have had a 5 second love session by the hospital coffee machine, but I’m pretty sure Drug-Dealin’-Jenny didn’t mean any of it.  And Lily and Rufus are headed for some tough times ahead…even though I STILL don’t know what is in that letter.  (What the hell could it be? I mean, the letter was written to Serena; what could be so bad?) All I can guess is that this isn’t the last we will be hearing from Dr. Van Der Woodsen.

Between Serena’s father and Chuck’s mother (assuming that the tabloids have it right and that was indeed Chuck’s mother), we are all in for a rude awakening come January. Yes, I said January. Because Gossip Girl won’t be back until then. What the hell am I going to do with my Mondays now!?

I guess I’m just gonna have to start back at Season 1…

You know you love them (and will miss them terribly)


I Didn’t Know…This Could Happen
I Didn’t Know…This Could Happen
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