Overheard: Finals Edition

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so get listening.

(Guy, watching something in a sports bar.)

Guy: Okay … yeah, okay … ALL RIGHT! YES! I’m the BUTTERMAN! I’m the SEXY BUTTERMAN!

(Two girls, studying in the library.)

Girl 1: Yeah, I’ll probably start sleeping here too. Under the tables or something.

Girl 2: No, I said “sleeping with girls” in the library. That’s different.

Girl 1: Oh. Yeah, I guess it is.

(Girl, in a movie theater lobby.)

Girl: Yeah, what was up with those? The shak-ti people of the dunelands. The mol-kot people of the high cliffs. The lint people of lint-land. The butt people of my butthole.

(Guy, drops his food in the dining hall.)

Guy: Aww, bigc**k bearsf**k.

(Girl, on the phone in the library cafe.)

Girl: Wait … a cactus? Geez. Wow. Hard times. … Yeah, I guess it is cheaper than seeing a Proctologist.

(Professor, during the last lecture of the semester.)

Prof: Honestly, being a straight woman is really overrated. I’d say “eat it, straight girls,” except you can’t.

(Girl, singing softly as she unpacks her stuff in the library.)

Girl: One, two, three, I got finals and me, calc and chemistry and I’m caught in between.

(Guy, entering a dorm lounge.)

Guy: Oh my god. That interview.

Guy 2: How was it?

Guy: You know how, when you get nervous, you feel like your stomach is full of butterflies? Mine felt like it was getting ripped out through my anus.

(Two girls, next to the fruit section in the dining hall.)

Girl 1: You think we need a trash bag?

Girl 2: Yeah, I’ll get one.

Employee: Excuse me. You can’t take those.

Girl 1: We can’t?

Girl 2: Yeah we can.

Employee: No, you can’t.

Girls: (leave)

Guys and Their Moms: How Close is Too Close?
Guys and Their Moms: How Close is Too Close?
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