Okay, so, like, email your questions to [email protected] and, like, maybe get them answered or whatever. And, like. You know.
Dear Tuffy Luv,
Okay Tuffy here’s the sitch – I have this really close group of friends back home and it’s made up of girls and guys. My best friend and this guy in the group used to date like 2 years ago. He broke it off with her and they were never boyfriend and girlfriend. We’re all really good friends now but I know for a fact that she’s harbored some under-the-surface feelings of him for over a year. The bigger problem is I seem to have developed feelings for him as well. I know for a fact he isn’t interested in my friend (and I’d be willing to bet a lot that he’s not interested in me either).
I can’t talk about this with any of my friends because they know the guy and the girl and I really don’t need this coming out. I want to be able to persue something with this guy without hurting my friend who means more to me than anyone else in the world, but I also know she has no claim over a guy she dated two years ago for less than a month. Oh and the guy and the girl? Yeah they also live together since they go to the same school. Advice?
Oh, honey. Ohhh, honey.
You know what I’m going to tell you. And you know you’re not gonna like it. So I’m just gonna come and say it, all right?
You “know she has no claim over a guy she dated two years ago for less than a month.” But you also know that, if you go for someone you know your best friend has feelings for, you will absolutely ruin the friendship and also be a big fat douchebag.
You say this girl means more to you that anyone. So, Doomed, why doom your friendship with her over anyone, no less someone you say you’d “be willing to bet” doesn’t have feelings for you either? Honey, it just does not make fiscal sense. Lose a friend and get little to nothing in return. Why?!
I see no signs of true love or anything like that in your letter. You have developed feelings for him. Okay. Well, we all get crushes. But if you don’t act on it, eventually it will go away. However, once you make a move on this guy, chances are your relationship with your friend is through. By making a move on a guy you know she has feelings for, who she lives with, for garsh sakes (and, like it or not, thereby has a greater claim to him), you become completely untrustworthy. If you care about her feelings, don’t make it seem like your relationship with her is second to any slim chance you might have with him.
My advice to you? Find someone else. Seeing if there’s a small chance things might maybe possibly work out with this guy is SO not worth losing your best friend.