If you’re one of those slackers who leaves your Christmas shopping until Christmas Eve (much to the scorn of retail workers everywhere) there’s no need to fret. Sex can be a great gift to anyone on your list this year. Yeah, that’s right, I said anyone.
Now before you start calling me perverted, let me show you what I mean.
Um, duh. This one is obvious, but you can’t expect a plain romp in the hay to get you off the hook this
Christmas; you’ll have to spice it up a bit. Normally, I’d recommend getting yourself to a sex shop to pick up a new toy or some sexy lingerie, but it might be a little to late for that (are sex stores even open on Christmas Eve?). Instead of buying something special, you’ll have to do something special this year. Need some ideas? Try one (or all) of these sexy sex tips on for size. Even better, why not get the gift that keeps on giving, like Cosmo’s latest iPhone app? It gives you a new hot sex position every day, making it the best $1.99 you ever spent. And if that’s not your thing, maybe just put on your sexiest lingerie (or left-over Halloween costume… same thing, usually) and give him a strip tease that he’ll never forget.
Your Coupled Friends
Let’s be honest, what your coupled college friends need is alone time. And if that friend also happens to be a roommate, that is the cheapest gift you can give! Print out a few coupons for some “alone time” and let her redeem them whenever she wants. All you have to do is find somewhere else to sleep. Boom! Best gift ever.
Or, if you’re lookin’ to spend a little more and you’ve got some time between baking with mom and wrapping with the siblings, hop on over to Barnes and Noble where they have tons of great stuff for couples. A few of my faves: “365 Sex Positions: A New Way Everyday for a Steamy, Erotic Year” and “Cosmo’s Steamy Sex Games.” Hot, hot, hot. Don’t be surprised if the BFF’s BF calls to thank you.
Your Single Friends
A subscription to EHarmony or Match.com could be a great way to help them shake up their dating routine and meet some new people. Although, it could also be really insulting. If your single friends are just lookin’ for some instant gratification, perhaps something a little more “personal” would be nice. Whether it’s a giftcard to Babeland or a comprehensive list of good places to find some porn (note: ask your guy friends for help with this one), they’ll love it. And you.
Moms love romance novels, plain and simple. Buy her a few on Amazon.com, print out a picture of the cover and the descriptions, and handwrite a note that says “Sorry, these should be coming in soon. I ordered them a week ago but Amazon keeps messing up the order!!” She probably won’t buy it, but she’s your mom; she has to love you anyway. Especially after she gets to escape in those sexy stories.
Your Little Sister
Remember when you first started thinking about sex, but had no one to answer your millions of questions or drive you to CVS to pick up some condoms? Well, your little sis won’t have this problem because she has you. This Christmas, be there for her and let her know she can come to you for anything (especially if you go to college far away and are only home a few times a year). Disclaimer: NOT a good present for your five-year-old sister.
What are some of the best sex-inspired gifts you’ve ever given?