Like any CollegeCandy girl, I am never far away from my cell phone. And if I’m not on my phone, I’m on my computer. And sometimes I’m on both at the same time. While watching TV. I’m a technology addict, but who isn’t? Cell phones, wireless Internet and text messaging have made our lives so much easier to live.
Except, of course, when it comes to dating.
Back in the olden days, like 1990, guys had to actually call you to ask you out. And it’s not like they could just call your cell and leave a VM; they would actually have to call a land line and possibly brave talking to a roommate or parent just to get to you. (Oh the horror!) Courting girls took a lot of work and if a guy was willing to go to such great lengths to get in touch with a girl, it was pretty easy to see he was into her. But not anymore. It seems like a distant concept to us, but the constant communication available because of the wonders of modern technology has further complicated what was already a confusing world of dating.
Getting In Touch:
What does it mean when a boy texts me? And is that different if that “What’s up?” text comes in the middle of a Tuesday versus after midnight on a Saturday? What about when he Facebook-chats me and says he wants to buy me a drink next time I see him? What if he pokes me? Comments on my status? Uses a winky smiley face in an IM? Retweets my tweet??
Which one of those means he likes me and which means he’s just trying to get in my pants? And is one more committal than the other? I mean, if a guy sends me a message on Facebook asking me what I’m up to that weekend, is that more or less serious than if he sent it to me in a text?
It has been established by one of my wiser girlfriends that if a boy is to call you without any particular reason, you can be fairly certain that he likes you. But does that same theory apply to texts/Facebook messages/drunk dials?
What Does he Mean?
Obviously, it’s a whole lot easier to flirt with someone or put yourself out there when you don’t have to look that person in the eye (you know you’ve been there), but not being face to face leaves a lot of room for mis-communication. Emotion or even sarcasm can easily get lost when texting someone you don’t know super well and kill a relationship before it even has a chance to start. My friend was recently FB messaging with a guy she met at a party. After going back and forth for days with some playful banter she told a guy to ‘f*ck off’ as a joking response… and never heard from him again. She knew it was a joke. Anyone who knows her knows it was a joke. But because this guy couldn’t hear the tone in her voice, he had no idea it was a joke and they both missed out on something potentially great.
Being single in this technological world is hard. It’s difficult enough to try and figure out what a boy is thinking in person, but analyzing all these different kinds of communication to try and understand is just exhausting. Who knew 5 little words in a text message could take so much out of you??
While I will always be dependent on my phone, sometimes I wonder if dating wasn’t a bit simpler and less confusing in the old days. Not that I have much time to ponder such things; I’m too busy wondering if the boy who “liked” my Facebook likes me too.