As 2009 was coming to a close I vowed that I’d make some big changes for the year to come, namely to act like the adult that I am and not like the rockstar college girl I once was. I told myself I’d drink more responsibly, that I didn’t need to get drunk to have fun, and that I might finally be at the age when dancing on stages is no longer socially acceptable.
And then I found myself making out with my really close guy friend a mere 45 minutes into the new year.
(Well, there’s always next year I guess!)
After we both came to our senses and realized what was going on (aided by another friend walking in, laughing, and taking pictures) we went our separate ways. And by “separate ways,” I mean “to get more booze.” Word spread that we had gotten a little gropey on his bed and my girlfriends started accosting me. “I’m drunk!” I explained. “It’s not a big deal.”
And they totally understood.
The truth is, we all do dumb things when we’re drinking. It’s part of what makes drinking so much fun! No? Just me? Well, at least the dumb things we do are more understandable. Just ask Jamie Fox. So instead of hiding that ish and pretending you can’t remember it (we’re onto you) why not share it with your friends here at CollegeCandy? Below, the CC writers share their fondest (if not haziest) dumb-drunk moments. Share your own (you know you’ve got plenty!) in the comments section below.
Rosie – Duke: I was at a Passover Seder at the student Jewish center on campus, which I had, of course, pregamed. Throughout the meal I consumed much more Manischewitz, as any good Jew would do. When the rabbi commenced the closing prayers, I kept up my conversation with my giant 6’4″ baseball friend. I said to him “your nose is so big and Jewish” then reached out and grabbed it. I guess I squeezed a bit too hard because it began to bleed everywhere. I started laughing hysterically and was asked to leave the service since I couldn’t control myself. I was receiving weekly emails from the Jewish center prior to that but have not received one since.
Ness – Sheridan: Two words: topless Twister.
Kiki – University of Missouri: Three days after Party in the USA became a sorority girl anthem, I managed to break a ceiling fan while rocking out mid-chorus. Rather than pausing to recognize the electrical carnage, I continued to keep my hands up, since they were playing my song. Nodding my head like yeah, moving my hips like yeah, avoiding light bulb shards like yeah.
Alex – Lakehead University: Last Halloween me and my friend got hammered and ended up puking behind a gas station at 11pm. Here’s the kicker: my very new boyfriend (as in two weeks new!) had to get me home and give me Gravol to stop the hurling. But, he’s still with me!
Arielle – Quinnipiac University: I stuck my entire body out of my friend’s car window while waiting in line at the drive-through and sang (read: screamed) the 7th Heaven theme song for all of the cars waiting in line. I’m still waiting to be signed by a record label …
Kelly – University of Iowa: I told all of my friends that my boyfriend proposed to me (he did, jokingly with an onion ring at the dining hall), and we planned my whole wedding. Not creepy at all.
Thu – USC: I insisted that I wasn’t drunk, but failed miserably at convincing people to believe so. At least that’s how they saw it.
Lauren – University of Michigan: I tried to squat and pee behind a bush and didn’t realize how big of a hill I was on. Needless to say, I lost my balance (heels+skinny jeans+beer pong = disaster) and rolled down the hill…with my pants around my ankles….towards the busy sidewalk where people were en route to parties.
Brithny- Duke: Keggerskating. Sooo fun, but let’s just say it’s not as easy as it seems. Eight wheels and a keg of beer do not mesh well.
Elizabeth – UC Berkeley: I missed my last home football game because I was dancing with some guy wearing a giant watermelon suit.
Noa – CU Boulder: I once came home from a lingerie party and attempted to seduce my R.A. Only when I busted in his room at 1 a.m. he was already in there….with his boyfriend.
Nina – Michigan State University: Apparently I pulled a hotel’s fire alarm while in another country. But when my friends asked me about it right after, I legitimately did not remember pulling the fire alarm, seeing the fire truck outside, nor the firefighters swarming into the hotel as we walked to the nightclubs….
Elise – Stanford: I told one of my best friend’s sisters about her tattoo, which she didn’t know about!
Cristina – Michigan State: I just consider this dumb, not particularly badass, but I was drunk and forced my friend take me to Meijer to return a book. I seriously would not leave her alone until she drove me there. They gave me a few looks but I GOT MY MONEY BACK. EPIC WIN.
Jill – University of Wisconsin: Dropped my phone in a sewer during the biggest block party of the year. Everyone was around me cheering me on trying to get it, the fire department refused to help, and when I FINALLY got it out, the school news paper took my photo. At the moment, I was proud. Now, not so much.