Why Am I Still Single?

Help me, Steve!

I’m addicted to reality dating shows.  I’ve watched them all and thoroughly enjoy watching fake, trashy, scripted romances bloom.  I mean, if rapping about endangered animals doesn’t prove your love, I don’t know what does.

So when Tough Love premiered last year, I was expecting the same scripted crap.  I thought it would be humorous, something I could watch for hours on a hungover Saturday, but not anything that average girls could relate to.  But even though the girls were all above-average in looks, I was thoroughly impressed with VH1’s latest bold new show. Tough Love was finally a show that NORMAL and REAL girls could relate to! Shocking, I know. Each week, my roommates and I tuned in to watch Sexy Steve and listen to his advice for these single ladies.  To say I was addicted to this show was an understatement; I literally dreamed of having Steve (come to my house naked and) tell me why I was still single.  So when they announced a second season I excitedly hopped online and downloaded the application in record speed.

The first question was simple: “Why do you think you are still single?” Easy enough, right? Wrong. I didn’t fit any of the molds: I’m not too old (at least I hope), I’m not a gold digger, I’m not addicted to my career. Even my friends couldn’t help me come up with an answer. The only solid answer I could come up with was, “The boys I crush on don’t like me, and vice versa.” 

I was crushed. And not only because I knew I would never actually meet Steve. It was just really hard to look inward and not be able to identify a facet of my personality or myself in general that was preventing me from finding love. How can I know what to work on if I have no idea what I’m doing wrong? And if I can’t work on anything, how will my current single status ever change?

I’ve heard the saying that true love comes when you are not expecting it, but after spending three and a half single years in college not expecting anything but a few drunk boys inviting me back to their smelly rooms, I can’t help but wonder what I’m doing wrong.  I feel like I’ve put in my time and experienced every guy out there: the creeper, the  I’m-just-not-that-into-you, the can-you-smell-my-desperation, and so on.  And now, with more and more of my single friends pairing off I’m left here alone, staring at an application for a VH1 reality show wondering why I’m still single and ready to mingle.

What am I doing wrong?

P.S. Steve, if you’re out there, please sign me up for your boot camp.  I’ll pay.

Single. And Tired of the Technology Confusion
Single. And Tired of the Technology Confusion
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