Overheard: Son of Sam Eagle

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so get listening.

(Girl, guy at a basketball game.)

Girl: Oh, man, I can almost taste that KFC.

Guy: No. No, do not taste it.

(Girl, two guys at a party.)

Guy 1: Well, I mean, like, I’ve never done … water sports.

Girl: Water sports? What’s water sports?

Guy 2: You know, like, swimming, diving, water-skiing.

Guy 1: Uh, dude.

(Girl, taking a call outside a party.)

Girl: That porn star isn’t even cute ! . . . I mean I bet she knows what she’s doing, but no way.

(Two girls, eating dinner in a Chinese restaurant.)

Girl 1: There once was a man from Nantucket.

Girl 2: Who got his head stuck in a bucket.

Girl 1: Then he died in that bucket.

(Girls, talking during lunch.)

Girl 1: Apollo.

Girl 2: How about Poseidon?

Girl 1: No, I feel like that’s asking for trouble. Achilles.

Girl 2: Even worse.

Guy (coming over): What’s up?

Girl 1: Naming vibrators.

(Two guys, in the lunchroom.)

Guy 1: I’ll give you a hint. His name rhymes with Awesome.

Guy 2: Plawsome.

Guy 1: No.

(Guys, watching TV in the dorm lounge.)

Guy 1: I like this commercial. It’s cute.

Guy 2: How about “There will always be babies. There will always be … death. See this baby? It’s gonna die.”

Guy 1: “You will also die. Thank you for your attention.”

(Girl and a guy, eating in an Italian restaurant.)

Girl: Remember all those friends from home?

Guy: You know, I realize they weren’t my friends really.

Girl: Yeah, more like big drugs with legs.

(Two girls, in the grocery store seafood section.)

Girl 1: I don’t know. How do you even sedate a lobster?

Girl 2: Boil it for a few seconds. Just give it something to think about.

(Girl, guy, talking in a coffee shop.)

Girl: Can you even have a lint fetish?

Guy: Yeah, sure. You know what, let me check my belly button right now.

(Girl, other girl, at a basketball game.)

Girl 1: Can we trash-talk something nice? I don’t wanna be mean.

Girl 2: Hey Duke! Your coach looks like Sam Eagle!

The Morning After: Closet Confusion
The Morning After: Closet Confusion
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