What’s the Deal, John Mayer?

“All I want to do now is f**k the girls I’ve already f**ked, because I can’t fathom explaining myself to somebody who can’t believe I’d be interested in them. I’m too freaked out to meet anybody else”

-John Mayer (Rolling Stone)

Ok John Mayer, what the hell?

Let’s just forget about the fact that you have, time and again, been in insanely dysfunctional relationships with some of the most beautiful women ever: Jessica, Minka, and, lest the world forget, Jen.  But that’s not the point here.  The point here is this: you are now in a dysfunctional relationship with your fans. The people who should be most important to you. The people who are most important to most celebrities who don’t love themselves as much as you do.

The things you say and do make us want to hate you. You say stupid things in interviews, and fans like me think, why?  Why do I still love this man?  Why do I keep buying his albums and listening to them on repeat, insisting that this song is a metaphor for my life?

John Mayer, you are the bad boyfriend that every girl thinks she’s over.  She tells her girlfriends, “Hah!  Even if he called me tomorrow begging me to come back, I wouldn’t do it!” Then you put out another album and I fall in love all over again.  You torture me with songs like “Say,” which is relatable to anyone in its haunting message of untold feelings. And then I agonize when you put out what may be the best ever cover of “Free Fallin’,” one of my favorite songs of all time.  It’s then that I think, he’s not so bad.  Anyone who has such a way with music can’t be that horrible, there has to be some good in there somewhere. Deep down. Waaay deep down.

SHOW ME THE GOOD, JOHN MAYER!!  Build houses in Haiti or work with inner-city kids, or, I don’t know, STOP SAYING STUPID THINGS IN ROLLING STONE LIKE THAT ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS “F*CK THE GIRLS YOU’VE ALREADY F*CKED!”

You are a fantastically talented musician.  I mean that seriously.  Your music is music that is relatable to everyone in its lyrics and is beautiful in its melodies. But your personality is your killer.  Maybe it’s just your personality in the public eye, I don’t know, but what I do know is that you come off as a guy who doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut. And if I’ve learned anything from my time on this planet, it’s to stay away from a guy like that.

But sadly, I just can’t quit you, John Mayer.
And now I’m just another woman, from a very long list of them, left heart broken and confused.

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