This year, Valentine’s Day kicks off National Condom Week (coincidence? I think not), and it’s time to give these little rubbers the appreciation they deserve! I mean really, what would life be without them (besides there being a lot more episodes of Teen Mom...)?
We (and by “we” I mean “our boyfriends”) tend to look at condoms as a nuisance that take away from the pleasure of lovemaking, so I’m here to bring you a list of crazy condoms that will make using protection fun! (As if safe sex isn’t fun enough already…)
Political Statement Condoms – In honor of us young people becoming more aware of politics since the 2008 election, we bring you Obama and McCain condoms! Featuring witty double entendres and portraits of the candidates, they’re the perfect BC for those who are both politically and sexually active. Just be warned- things could get awkward if you and your guy both whip out opposing-candidate condoms. For some, party affiliation is a deal breaker.
Tuxedo Condoms – Introducing the tuxedo condom, for all of your black-tie events! Getting your guy to dress nice may be no easy feat, but at least you can get achieve a touch (or taste) of formality in the bedroom.
The Condometric – Finally, a condom that kills two birds with one stone: protection AND measurement. Stop the speculation and find out how many inches he’s packing before letting him into your love tunnel. Best of all, make these your preferred brand and you can compare him to your previous and future love (and lust) makers.
Glow in the Dark – To me, there’s nothing more hilarious than turning off all the lights and seeing nothing but a neon green penis flying around (like a glowstick at a rave!). For nights when you feel a bit Jersey Shore-ish, there’s the Love Light Technosex. Go ahead, blast the house music, beat up the beat, and slip this on for a night of silly, glowy fun.
Remember, you ARE supposed to use condoms for oral sex, and with a condom that tastes like hot cocoa, why wouldn’t you?
Trojan Her Pleasure Ecstasy Condoms – Okay, so I have yet to try these (I don’t want to talk about it, OK?), but you’ve seen the commercials, people! These new condoms claim to have a new, more secure fit so you both feel the pleasure, not the rubber. If that’s not something you can enjoy, I don’t know what is.
Happy humping, everyone!