We’ve got Olympic fever around here. Not only are the games exciting to watch (what up, J.R. Celski), but those Olympians are truly inspirational. We can only imagine what it feels like to be so good at something that you are chosen to represent your country on a global stage.
Too bad we’re not good at anything. Well, anything that matters, anyway. It’s not like they’re going to be adding beer pong to the Summer Games anytime soon, or giving out golds for walking through the snow in heels. Both of which would surely earn us a medal and maybe even a Wheaties box.
And that got us thinking. If we were Olympians, what would we medal in? After all, if Curling can be considered a sport (isn’t that just Swiffering?), why not these:
Rachael – University of Miami: Definitely klutziness, socializing, and anything relating to rhetoric/debate. Clearly, athletics is not my strong point. . . .
Lauren H – The New School: My guy always says I’d take the gold in sleeping – I can nap anywhere, anytime, and I don’t drool or snore! Bring it on!
Jessica – Hofstra: I would get a gold medal for whining until I get my way, procrastinating, and shopping.
Sarabeth – University of Texas: I’d get a gold medal in baking. Not gonna lie, my low fat cheesecake is pretty much the shiz.
Melanie – Northeastern University: I’d take the gold in exaggerating and pounding Starbucks ice cream.
Megan – Penn State: What Michael Phelps is to swimming, I am to losing my phone.
Brittany – University of Saint Thomas: I would receive a gold metal in complaining about Minnesota weather, raising the roof, and a cereal (Cinnamon Toast Crunch, please) eating contest.
Jackelyn – San Francisco State University: Unfortunately, I’d get a gold medal in procrastination. It’s unbelievable how good I am at it!
Kari – Florida State: I’d go for the gold in saying incredibly awkward things and being productive while hungover.
Sara C – Fordham: If they were handing out medals for memorizing Seinfeld quotes, I’d have the gold all wrapped up!
Emmy-Loyola University Chicago: If being late were a sport, I would for sure be the world champion!
Cristina – Michigan State University: Sleeping hours past my alarm clock and being the only person I know who doesn’t gag when they smell straight vodka.
Kim – University of Delaware: Tripping/falling/waking up with bruises and having no idea where they came from.
Meg – University of Delaware: If I were an olympian, I’d definitely get gold in list making (with a sliver in checking things off), a gold in driving (too) fast and a gold in eating more than I should.
Kim – Stanford: I’d win a gold medal in kicking ass and taking names.
Carly – Grinnell: I often brag about how I would totally bag a gold for carrying groceries. I get a little carried away at the store and find myself walking home while balancing four huge paper bags and simultaneously fishing for my keys and unlocking the apartment door. YES! She nails it!!
Norah – Drake University: I’d take the gold in procrastination, snacking and knowing way too much about the Winter Olympics. I only care about sports for two weeks every four years, so I want to make it count! (Shameless self-promotion: check out my Olympics blog.)
Alex – Lakehead University: Going for the gold in wasting time. I can literally do nothing for an entire day.
Maddie – Tufts: I’d win a gold medal in painting nails… I always say it’s my fallback option for next year if I don’t get a job.
Jessica – FIT: I would have a gold medal in the art of tequila.
Brithny – Duke: If shopping were a sport, I’d be the Michael Phelps of SoHo.
Jessica – Delaware: I’d definitely get a gold medal in sarcasm and one-liners
Kelly – University of Iowa: Losing things. Honestly, if I’m carrying it in my hand I will lose it. Since college started I’ve lost my debit card 5 times, my credit card twice, and my student ID 4 times. And each are $20 to replace.
Julia – UC Berkeley: Text messaging. I can craft any text for anybody in record time.
Hannah- Assumption College: I would score a gold medal in grocery shopping on a budget and rapping to Lil’ Wayne songs. Sometimes at the same time.