Last weekend I spent a full day catching up on the happenings of The Millionaire Matchmaker. (Don’t judge…) In one episode, ball-buster Patti Stanger duked it out with Rabbi Something-or-Other-Stein on the topic of morality in regards to her infamous club.
The Rabbi’s argument was that Patti’s club is superficial and that if it is exclusive to millionaires, then those who join the club are essentially marrying for money, and not for any of the “right” reasons. Patti defended herself insisting that her services provide men with the tools they need to have a successful relationship, and provide women with the comfort of knowing that their potential mate will be able to give them a safe and secure life if a match is made.
My first thought: If only this were the topic of discussion on the Bimah at my own Bat Mitzvah, I may have been able to stay awake.
My second thought: Wait a second, Rabbi may have a point.
My third thought: Uh oh, does this make me a crazy feminist?
Well I’m not ready to stop shaving my armpits quite yet, but I do think The Bearded One has a point.
For men, the club membership fees range from $25,000 to $150,000. For women….it’s free. So any women (whose physique is acceptable by Patti’s standards, of course) can be a member of the club. They’re single, looking for love, and by joining, they may or may not be paired with the love of their life…who can jet them off to Paris for a first date. Does this make them gold diggers? According to the Rabbi, it does. Money should not be the first thing that attracts a woman to a man; his wealth should be unknown until after a connection is made.
What happened to equality? Are Patti and her efforts taking a step backward in making women equal to men when it comes to wealth and relationships? Let’s evaluate: to join, or not to join?
– For women, the club is free, so… why not? We have nothing to lose.
– It is a great jumping off point to meet men who are established professionally.
– Accoding to Patti, joining does NOT make a woman a gold digger. It means she is interested in meeting a man that is financially stable. It takes much more than money to make a connection, and Patti tells her girls not to put up with a guy’s “bullsh*t” even if he does have money.
– It does not make women less equal to men than if they were to meet them any other way. Just because they are being set up on dates with millionaires, does not mean that they can’t be successful themselves.
Not to join:
– Money does not guarantee security or a life of stability. From the outside, yes, these guys look like they have their sh*t together. Some do, I’m not claiming that all men who are successful are secretly a**holes, but I am taking a stance that just because a guy has money does NOT mean he is “stable” by any means. A millionaire could have just as many emotional problems, if not more, than any average Joe lurking the streets.
– It is no secret that money provides us with comfort. However, as cliché as it may sound, money cannot buy happiness. No diamond is worth flaunting on your hand if the man who gave it to you does not make you happy every day.
– In order to join the club, men must prove themselves with money, and women with their looks. This does sound superficial and sexist, and it does take a step backward from women reaching equality.
Like my mom always says: there’s a top for every pot. If a loaded pot want to pay upwards of $50,000 to meet his top, well, power to him. So, now it’s up to you…to join, or not to join?