Sexy Time: The Secret to Good Sex

As a writer, I have a lot of role models. People who’ve made a difference with their writing, people who’ve paved the way, and people whose writing I just really enjoy. One of those people is sex columnist Dan Savage. Not only does he write a sex advice column that’s syndicated all over North America, but he’s also written a few books and still manages to be a fairly down-to-earth guy.

One of the things that Dan talks about pretty frequently in his column is the idea of being GGG – good, giving and game in the sack. According to Dan, these are the three traits a person needs to sustain a long and healthy sexual relationship.

I’ve been asking myself lately how exactly one goes about being GGG in a relationship — what does it actually mean? It seems like a pretty good concept, so let me break it down for you guys too:

Good – not everyone comes by sexual talent naturally, and it’s unreasonable to think that your first time doing something is automatically going to be awesome. Being good involves lots of practice. Sexually, everyone has strong points and weak points. To reach your “maximum potential” in bed, it’s important to ask your partner what they want. If it’s not something you’re familiar with, ask for tips, try your best and practice, practice, practice!

Giving – being good at something is only the first step. You’ve gotta put that into action! Being in a relationship means you’ve gotta be willing to put your partner’s needs ahead of your own from time to time.  Sex involves two (or more) people, so focusing only on yourself just isn’t going to fly. In order to maintain a long-term sexual relationship, both partners need to feel that they’re getting what they need.

Game – nothing is better than a little enthusiasm. Sex should never make your partner feel like you’re doing them a favor. While your partner’s kink may not be one of yours, giving into that from time to time enthusiastically (within reason, of course) is going to get you some major bonus points in the sex department. Even if it’s not necessarily your cup of tea, being enthusiastic and willing to try new things will go a long way. Not into certain positions? Give them a try every once in a while if it’ll make your partner happy – and fully expect them to do the same for you.

Like everything else in a relationship, being GGG goes both ways. Being good, giving and game for your partner should be returned with them being GGG for you. Nothing says I love you like a round of good, enthusiastic, giving sex.

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