Oh Facebook, how did we get along before you?
You help us stalk our crushes in order to see their likes, and if there are any skanks in their photos they’re available.
You help us avoid people (you know, the ones who tell you where they are at all times in their statuses and you think to yourself, “damn, I really wanted to eat lunch there, too”).
You keep us sane while studying for exams (or at least, our attempting to study while browsing the news feed).
Facebook has become central to our lives and, much like Google, is not only a noun, but a verb as well.
But at times, like when we’re trying to maintain a relationship, Facebook isn’t that great. In fact, it’s yet another outlet for really awkward situations.
Stalking gone awry.
So you’re sitting in your room, stalking your crush whom you have barely said hello to, when all of a sudden it happens. Your computer freezes and you panic. You move your mouse around a little. Nothing moves. You click a few times, pound on the keyboard a bit. Oh wait. NO! You accidently clicked “like” on his status. Or worse, you friended him. And there’s no taking it back. Oh god.
After a long day, you come back to your room and check your Facebook, hoping that there will be a witty comment on your wall to cheer you up, or a picture comment telling you how cute you are. You see a friend request (yay!). Wait, is that the kid who sits behind you? The creepy one who leans forward to stare down your shirt and breathes WAY too heavily? How does he know your name?! How did he find you?!
You know the ones. No one likes seeing that someone they know is “doggy style” or a “thong.” That’s just way too much information. Especially when it’s your T.A. At first, you let it go, but when you see the fourth quiz result for which sex position they are, you start to wonder if it’s time to block certain things (or people) from appearing on your news feed.
Break Up Announcements…and Reactions.
Break ups are difficult, and when the time comes to officially change your status on Facebook, break ups get awkward. There’s the simple fact that you have to deal with that little broken heart popping up in everyone’s news feed. And then you have to deal with those people who, instead of calling to see what happened, like to ask you for all the details via a Wall post. Even worse, there’s the reactions of your ex’s friends. You may think his suitemates liked you, until you see them “liking” the fact that Mr. Ex is now single. Bastards.
Usually there is nothing more awkward than parents who have Facebook. They feel the need to like everyone’s status, send you annoying application requests, and ask embarrassing questions on your Wall. And if that’s not bad enough, my dad started becoming fans of different things. What started off as something innocent (“Dad became a fan of ESPN”) turned into one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. My father, a teacher, became a fan of morning sex. MORNING SEX. When I asked him about this he responded: “It’s true, I AM a fan of morning sex.” I will never look at him or my mom (ew) that same again.
So eff you Facebook, you double edged sword. You have caused so many awkward situations that I never would have had deal with if it wasn’t for how dang addicting you are.