Overheard: Maya on Faya

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so take off those (faux) Burberry ear muffs and tune in.

(Two guys, on a day trip to farm)

Guy 1: Look! A bunch of cows!
Guy 2: Herd of cows!
Guy 1: Of course I’ve heard of cows!
Guy 2: No, no! A cow herd!
Guy 1: What do I care if a cow heard? I never said anything I shouldn’t have!

(Girl and guy, walking.)

Girl: I’m starving. Let’s get burgers.
Guy: Fur burgers?

(Guy, girl, in a restaurant.)

Guy: I’ve heard from Davis and Florida State.

Girl: Wait, Florida State? Where’s that?

(Two girls, walking around an art museum.)

Girl 1: I didn’t think people wore dresses like that back then.

Girl 2: I didn’t know people knew what boobs were back then.

(Two guys, waiting in a restaurant.)

Guy 1: Man, if I don’t eat something soon, I’m gonna eat someone.

Guy 2: S—.

Guy 1: Didn’t say it had to be you.

(Girl, on the phone at a bus stop.)

Girl: Why are you apologizing? I’m the one who’s making out with your roommate!

(Two girls, watching women’s basketball in the lounge.)

Girl 1: I don’t think we can lose.

Girl 2: Depends. Can they shoot 3-point shots from the bathroom?

Girl 1: That’s gotta be a euphemism for something.

(Two girls, browsing a bookstore.)

Girl 1: … Yeah, me too. We fit like hand and glove.

Girl 2: Like Batman and Superman.

Girl 1: Like Batman in Superman.

Girl 2: Yes.

(Girl, on the phone at a party.)

Girl: Look … okay, I’m really too drunk to break up with you right now. Can we just do this tomorrow? Okay. Love you, bye.

Your St. Paddy’s Day Survival Guide
Your St. Paddy’s Day Survival Guide
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