It started with the Real World, and then Survivor, and before we knew what was happening, our country’s obsession with reality T.V. spiraled out of control. Long gone are the days when fictional characters dominated primetime and MTV still played music videos.
Flip through the channels on any given day and take your pick of whose lives you’d like a firsthand look at- pregnant high-schoolers, wealthy housewives, bridezillas, fist-pumping guidos, drug addicted celebs, trashy hoes fighting (literally) for the love of a rockstar, famous-for-no-reason celebs, tiara clad toddlers, and people who’ve had waaaaay too many children.
The good news? Even more reality gems are coming our way! If you’re like me and can’t get enough trashy television, let these upcoming series hold you over until the second season of Jersey Shore finally starts…
1. Sunset Daze
If you think you’ve seen it all, think again, because this new series set for spring 2010, brought to you by We, is set in a retirement community. Yes, one very much like the one you go to to visit Grandma Betty for an afternoon of water aerobics and Bingo. Tag lines include “the golden years just got more golden,” and “no, it’s not spring break, this is Sunset Daze.” Yeah. I’ll be tuning into this one for sure…
2. Sarah Palin’s Alaska
After countless SNL skits and controversy over her home life and politics, this maverick is finally gonna show America what she’s really about. The show is produced by Mark Burnett (the mastermind behind Survivor) and is supposed to be a “non-political” reality series about the attractions of Alaska. Sounds thrilling.
3. Bully Beatdown
Who else loves the people who come up wit MTV’s reality shows!? I mean, who are these geniuses!? If you were bullied in high school (or still are), nominate the wrongdoer to step into the ring with a pro-MMA fighter! (Disclaimer: they earn money for this, so it’s not total punishment…) I know I’ve got some bitchy, rumor-spreading ex-bff’s from high school I’d like to toss in there…just sayin’.
Big hair, orange skin, and guy drama in the Garden State made for big ratings last time, so why not capitalize!? The Style Network is bringing us Jerseylicious, a reality show about the staff of the upscale Gatsby Salon (one of which is dating another’s ex-boyfriend- drama!). The thought of someone with metallic eyeshadow, a foot-tall pouf and that much bronzer being in charge of beautifying other people is terrifying, and enough to make me want to tune into this (inevitable) trainwreck.
5. Kirstie Alley’s Big Life
Kirstie Alley is putting her weight in the spotlight (yet again) with her new show that now airs on A&E. Over the years, we’ve watched her gain weight, lose it, then gain it back again, and frankly, it’s getting boring. She’s gorgeous no matter how much she weighs, so why does she keep making such a freakin’ big deal about it?
6. Little Chocalatiers
Seriously, TLC must stand for “The Little Channel.” As if the Little Couple and Little People Big World weren’t enough, TLC brings us this series about “Steve Hatch, Kate Masterson and team creating chocolate dice via assembly line.” I’m curious to see how they form an entire series around making chocolate dice via an assembly line. Anyone else?
7. Table for Twelve
Yet another show (TLC again) about a couple who has way too many kids. It’ll probably be REALLY unique, seeing their mom cook dinner and dad play in the backyard while screaming toddlers run around. I might tune in just to see if their mom is a frigid bitch and their dad wears Ed Hardy. Deja vu?