Too lazy to peruse Perez this week?
Too busy to sift through all the garbage for the real gossip gems?
Wondering what Tiger’s been up to since he made that stupid speech last week?
Thank goodness for me! Don’t waste your time in the grocery store checkout line staring at last week’s gossip (use it to stare that the other odd things they’ve got hanging up there….foot file? Next to the food? Ew). Here’s your gossip cheat sheet of the week: the biggest Hollywood stories and, just for good measure, a little pinch of not-so-big Hollywood stories.
1. Top story again this week is Jesse James’ alleged infidelities against Sandra Bullock. First we uncovered (which wasn’t hard, considering how little this girl wears) that Michelle “Bombshell” McGee is a white supremacist, sporting racist tats and posing in Nazi themed photos (so classy). There have also been two other (tattooed) women to come forward in the Tiger Woods-like saga: Melissa Smith and Brigitte Daguerre. And, just this morning, Attorney Gloria Allred came forward claiming she is representing another young woman who has proof of an affair with James. Is she the last of James’ girls? I hope not, but I have a feeling this isn’t the end of this story.
2. Speaking of Tiger Woods, he is going to play at the Masters. In fact, he’s favored to win! This is actually a smart move on his part because the Masters is so serious and people won’t be able to talk about his skankalicious ho-jumping. Oh, and he’ll be doing a press conference on April 5th at 2pm if you want to see him read another carefully crafted statement.
3. Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian have parted ways… again. The two briefly split last year, but most people are thinking this time’s for good. Some sources are reporting that Reggie cheated on Kim with January Gessert who was seen leaving his house on St. Patty’s Day in the wee hours of the morning. (Oooooh, walk of shame!) But other sources claim that Reggie broke up with Kim because she’s too focused on the spotlight and fame.
4. Taylor Swift was spotted out to lunch with Taylor Lautner this week. Are they getting back together?? Maybe, but Swift was also seen bowling with “friend” Cory Monteith from Glee! Not that you care, but I think they are both too good for her…. and perfect for me.
5. Kate Gosselin has been deemed a total bee-yotch on the set of Dancing With The Stars. I don’t think anyone’s surprised considering that woman is crazy. But Mark Ballas and Evan Lysacek are now saying she’s really sweet and everyone loves her. Hmm, for some reason I don’t believe them. Probably because they both wear sequins. Still, the biggest question is: who’s watching the kiddies?
Other Less Important News
1. Justin Bieber turned 16 this week! And, just like most 16-year-olds, the Beebs got a Range Rover from Usher. Standard. The good news is, he’s only 2 years from being legal!
2. Lady Gaga is still getting reamed for her Telephone video, but honestly, that was some fab dancing and creativity. And love it or hate it, you know you can’t stop watching it. You go, Gaga!
3. Jennifer Love Hewitt cut her hair after breaking up with Jamie Kennedy. She also wrote a book called The Day I Shot Cupid about her relationships. Now she’s single. With a bedazzled vajay. Great timing.
4. Reese Witherspoon moved on REAL fast from Jake Gyllenhaal. She’s been seen all over Hollywood with her “friend” Jim Toth, an agent. Let’s all take a moment of silence for Jake Gyllenhaal’s broken heart…..
5. Kellan Lutz is smokin! Oh, and he’ll be portraying Poseidon in the new movie, War of the Gods, which, from what I understand (and dream), means he’ll be shirtless. A lot.