Beer: Let’s Pour One Out For The Ladies!

Over the weekend a good friend of mine asked me to help her set up her online dating profile. Even better was the fact that her laptop screen was broken and we had to do it on her 40 inch flat screen TV. We both silently prayed that her neighbors (who were 10 feet away – this is NYC, after all) weren’t watching through the window.

I thought my friend only wanted a little help describing herself, but what she really wanted was for me to write the whole thing for her. Because, being single for the past 4 years, I’m a total expert in luring in the men. So I helped, rambling off all the things that were awesome about her that would be appealing to men: her love of college sports, her obsession with the Rolling Stones, her devotion to Arrested Development.

As she was loading in her pictures and getting ready to save the whole thing I remembered one more key thing she needed to add:

“Oh! Make sure to mention that you’re a beer girl! Guys love beer girls.”

And it’s true; being that beer is such a “dude drink,” guys love a girl who loves beer. It means she’s low key, down for anything and a really cool chick. So what if my friend has 9 bottles of shampoo in her shower and a weird obsession with lip gloss; her love of beer makes her instantly cool and laid back in a guy’s eyes.

But I bet all those guys have no idea that beer was actually once a woman’s drink. In fact, we invented it! Beer historian (hellooooo, dream job) Jane Peyton has recently revealed that until 200 years ago, beer was brewed exclusively by women, for women. Queen Elizabeth I even made it her breakfast of choice! (Which means I have more in common with the Queen than I ever thought….) All around the world, starting 7,000 years ago, beer was 100% a woman’s thing: “In almost all ancient societies beer was also then considered to be a gift from a goddess, never a male God.”

That is, until the process of brewing beer became industrialized and women were pushed out of the process and, as usual, men began to take credit for the entire thing.

Well not anymore, boys. It may seem different and cool for girls to drink beer now, but it was our drink first, dammit, despite what those Bud and Miller commercials say. It’s time guys stop acting like beer is their’s and give us the big “thank you,” we deserve!

Am I right, ladies?

Living K For P: Tips and Tricks To Survive Sans Bread
Living K For P: Tips and Tricks To Survive Sans Bread
  • 10614935101348454