Gossip Girl: There’s More To Life Than Waffles

I was “the good kid” growing up. I did well in school, I had a job, I was in a youth group, on my high school’s yearbook staff, tutored underprivileged kids…. the list goes on. Towards the end of my Junior year I was sick of my role and wanted to change things up a bit – to try something totally new and totally not me. I wanted to be bad. So I went to my friend’s house, smoked a lot of pot, ate 2 bags of Doritos while watching a movie, came home 2 hours past my curfew…. and puked orange in my mom’s prized powder room while I swore never to touch a bong again.

And what happened? I confessed it all to my parents and they didn’t care. In fact, they were happy I’d gone out with friends and “let loose for the night.”

My point is that my parents are awesome it’s impossible to go from good kid to bad kid to good kid as frequently and quickly as one Ms. Jenny Humphrey. One day she’s a sweet girl from Brooklyn with a sewing machine and the next she’s dropping out of school and trying to make it as a fashion designer. Then she realizes the error of her ways and becomes the good girl again, but not for long, because soon she’s taking over as Queen Bee, stepping on anyone who gets in her way. Then she’s nice again. Then she’s dating a drug dealer, sewing pills onto bolero jackets and considering giving up her v-card…. and then she’s suddenly the good girl once again who, of course, can whip up a couture frock 2 hours before a fashion show, get her dream job, and recover from being heavily drugged just in time to come home and run into her dad.

Whew.

I know the ‘Gossip Girl’ writers are just trying to stir the pot, but can we give Jenny one personality and stick with it, please? I’m getting winded just trying to keep up. It’s like The United States of Tara up in here, or something. If they want some drama, break up boring Serena and Nate. Yes, they do have the hottest, steamiest, sexiest sex scenes on the show…..

…….

Wait. Sorry. My imagination got the best of me for a moment. Where was I?

Oh yes. Serena and Nate. So, they do have some hot sex scenes and they are a cute couple, but their relationship is more boring than Dan and Vanessa’s ramen dates. Maybe it’s time to take the focus off of Little J and ruin things for some other people on the show. We haven’t had much Nate drama since his dad went to jail and he was sleeping with some hot, old lady. Let’s turn the focus back on him. Preferably shirtless….

But enough about the kiddies, let’s talk real drama. As in Chuck’s mama drama. I mean, she is his mom, right? I don’t even know what to believe anymore, but I do know that I can’t believe any woman could ever love Jack Bass. Not only is he scheming and evil, but he has a goatee! And he always talks in that creepy “I’m trying to lure underage girls to my windowless van” sorta voice. A voice that apparently also works to turn mothers against their sons, pushing them out onto the mean streets of New York City. Or, er, the dirty dorms of NYU.

Does this mean Chuck Bass has nothing left (besides his infamous pinky ring)? Is he penniless? Is his creepy uncle lounging on his couch, in his hotel, wearing his three-piece suits/ascots, drinking his scotch? I’m cringing just thinking about it. I’ve grown to love (not just lust after) Chuck this season and it kills me to see him so down and out. Who is Chuck Bass without all that money?

Hopefully we won’t have to find out. It looks like Blair’s got a little trick up her sleeve (or skirt) to help her beloved regain his empire. I’m just praying her plan doesn’t backfire and push her and Chuck apart.

Actually, that would make for some really good GG dramz. OMG, I can’t wait for next week!

Candy Dish: The Stage is Set for the Final Four
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