The iPad. Steve Jobs’ newest brainchild, and a super….whatever it is. Despite the fact that we’re not always sure what point Apple’s devices serve, we always seem to get them, love them, and become suddenly unable to live without them.
But this thing? Meh, not so much. The iPad’s got a hefty price tag that will set any college student back and I’m just not sure it’s worth it. Based on what I’ve seen, I’m pretty sure I could take that $600 elsewhere (like, I don’t know, the bar?) and be a whole lot happier.
Apple Says: OMG EMAIL IS SO EASY TO CHECK!
Reality: Yeah, email is easy to check everywhere. Like on my laptop, my phone, or the 3,000 computers scattered around my campus. In fact, sometimes I wish my email were less accessible. If my profs knew they could contact me on yet another device, I’d never have the “I didn’t realize the assignment had been revised” excuse.
Apple Says: AHHH! YOU CAN READ MAGAZINES/NEWSPAPERS/BOOKS ON IT!!!
Reality: Or – and here’s a crazy thought – you could read actual newspapers/magazines/books. Some of them are more portable than this thing and a hell of a lot cheaper. And if you really want an e-reader, the Kindle costs way less and won’t kill your eyes.
Apple Says: WOW YOU CAN LISTEN TO MUSIC ON IT SO EASILY!!!
Reality: You know what else you can listen to music on? An iPod. Which is also Apple. And much smaller and easier to use. Plus, in the immortal words of Phyllis from The Office, “If you don’t have an iPod by now, you really don’t want one.”
Apple Says: YOUTUBE IS ON THIS THING?!
Reality: Yeah, it is. Along with every other device known to man. YouTube can literally be accessed by you on any electronic device anywhere. Fear not, the fat kid singing “A:F6” can be found even at 2 in the morning in the far reaches of space at this point. If, you know, you really couldn’t wait to get near a computer and needed to watch that right. this. second.
Apple Says: IT’S SO PORTABLE!!!! LIKE A LAPTOP, ONLY BETTER!!
Reality: So a smaller version of a laptop that does all of these things? You mean like the iPhone that they invented three years ago? And that thing makes calls and texts, too. This product does…none of those things. Plus, it’s pretty unrealistic that those interested in buying it are also interested in bringing back the man-satchel just to tote this useless tablet around.
So yeah, I will not be dropping my hard earned money on Apple’s latest. At least not until the way better, way cheaper 2nd generation comes out.