Gossip Girl: Till Death (or a Hotel and Creepy Uncle) Do Us Part

I’d like to take this opportunity to give a big “welcome back!” to Gossip Girl’s former glory. Maybe it’s because last night’s episode was going up against the NCAA National Championship game, but those writers pulled out all the stops and it was good. No, it was really effing good. It had more ups and downs than the game and it even brought me to tears at one point. (Though, full disclosure, the ending of the game did too.)

Can we please just talk about Chuck and Blair? OMG it was intense. I swear when Blair confronted him when she got back from the hotel, I didn’t breathe for a full minute. I mean, I knew there would be scandal surrounding this potential tryst with creepy Uncle Jack, this is Gossip Girl after all, but I never in my wildest imaginations thought Chuck would be the one pulling all the strings. And maybe that’s why Chuck did it; he was sick of people not expecting something like that from him.

But to risk losing Blair, who looked so hot in that dress I would have given up a hotel for her, for a business? And then to fully expect that she’d get over that and come back to him? What a pompous a-hole. I swear, if I were Blair I would have done more than just slap him across the face; I probably would have added a little something about how dumb his ascots look. Obviously we all love Chuck’s manipulative ways and arrogance – it’s part of what makes him sexy, in addition to that chiseled face and those sexy suits – but this was just too much. When Blair cried, I cried. Hard. Both for their relationship and for the fact that we may not get anymore Chuck Bass makeout scenes in the near future.

Sigh. I can’t even think about it anymore. Let’s talk about something else.

Like Jenny Humphrey who, once again, is inching toward the dark side. She was good for a whole 6 minutes between last week and this week so it was obviously time to do something stupid again. Like pull a Queen B and drum up and evil plan to steal her hot step-sister’s boyfriend. I’ll admit, Jenny looked super cute in that fedora and it was pretty adorbs when she got Nate the ice cream sundae for his birthday, but the girl is dumb. Has she really thought this through at all? What if she somehow convinces Nate to dump his super hot and devoted girlfriend who plans the most awesome birthday party ever and with whom he has seriously steamy sex, to date her?

SHE LIVES WITH SERENA. Does she think that is going to work out? That they’ll live happily ever after? Honestly, I am dunzo with Jenny. Why don’t we bring Erik back for more than 3 episodes a season and ship Little J off to live with some other UES family. Like with Ramona from The Real Housewives; they deserve each other. Or maybe she could run off with Uncle Jack; they’re a match made in manipulative heaven. Well, minus the whole “she’s only 16 and that would be really gross” factor.

At least there was some goodness to celebrate in last night’s ep. Not only was Dorota back and hilarious as usual (I don’t know if it’s that accent or the apron, but I can’t get enough of that woman), but she’s engaged! And Erik’s got a boy who loves him! And Rufus uses Bing instead of Google when searching for Polaroid film online! (Way to go with the product placement, writers!) And the episode was over with plenty of time to flip back over to the basketball game…. and then watch my favored team lose.

OK, so that last part wasn’t so great, but at least we have a doorman/housekeeper wedding to look forward to next week. Unfortch, I don’t think Blair will be catching that bouquet.

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