Coupled. And Annoyed

Dear readers, I come to you now because I, like most girlfriends I’m sure, need to vent.

While I love my boyfriend Matt to death, there comes a time (OK, many times) when he drive me insane. Sometimes all of the little annoying habits he has make either want to barf or slap him upside the head. I’m sure some of you will think “That’s terrible! I would never be grossed out by or want to hurt my boyfriend!” But I’d put money down on the table right now that most of you feel my pain and are sitting there right now thinking, “OMG, sometimes my boyfriend annoys the crap out of me.”

For instance, let’s just take the fact that men, by nature, are gross. Matt is no exception (obviously). While yes, it’s appreciated that he showers regularly and brushes his teeth, it still grosses me out to no end when he wakes up in the morning and immediately starts hacking and coughing up God knows what. I know that people have to take care of some phlegm in the morning on occasion, but this is every. single. morning. And it’s not one cough either – it’s several loud and, from the sound of it, very productive hacks. Trust me, it’s not what you want to hear at 6 a.m. when you’re trying desperately to get a few more precious minutes of sleep.

Then there’s the failed attempts at humor. While Matt has a great sense of wit and is usually really dang funny, he’s got one flaw in the comedy department: accents and impersonations. That really wouldn’t be a big deal if it weren’t for the fact that he tries to do them just about every time we’re with people. As a former theater major, bad accents get to me. I did a year of Irish dialect training, so when he tries his hand at an Irish brogue, it’s not only totally unfunny, but it has the same effect on me that nails on the chalkboard have one the rest of society. And our friends have noticed as well.

Before you go off thinking I’m a total witch with a capital B, please know that I’ve talked to Matt about it. While it was hard news to take, he did promise to try to cut back on the bad impersonations and has made huge strides in the hacking department. (Literally – he runs into the bathroom.) He is human and slips up sometimes, but I’m learning to not let stuff like that get to me, and in no way does it make me love him less. I also know that there are things that I do that annoy the heck out of him, so we both try to be understanding when the other slips up.

In a way it’s kind of nice to have a boyfriend with tiny flaws, because, well, it’s a whole lot better than someone with giant flaws. And at the end of the day, wanting to kick my boyfriend for attempting to pull phlegm up from his chest isn’t a bad thing – it’s normal. Even the happiest couple in the world wants to smack each other once in awhile.

So, what does your BF do that makes you want to scream?

Bromances Aren’t Built On Intimacy
Bromances Aren’t Built On Intimacy
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