After months of being inundated with previews and ads, Tina Fey and Steve Carell’s Date Night is finally premiering tonight. I for one am quite excited; how can a movie with two of my favorite people not be good?
If only I had someone to take me to see it.
For those of you who haven’t turned on the TV in 3 months (or fast-forward through commercials), the movie is about a married couple who’s date night goes totally awry. Now, I’m not married (sorry mom), but I’ve had my fair (or not so fair) share of really bad dates that ended in total disaster. Like the time my then BF wanted to take me out for a really nice date to a sushi restaurant and there was something wrong with my food. Three hours later, we were working together to plunge the toilet and soak up the overflow before it hit the hallway. Talk about romance.
In honor of the movie’s release, and to make me feel a bit better about my cursed love life, this week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share their own dating horror stories. Tell us about your worst date in the comments section below.
Charlsie – Hollins University: I once dated this guy who thought he was good at everything. When I invited him over to hang out with my friends, we ended up playing the board game Candyland. Mr. I Am The Best At Everything lost, and he ended up getting so upset that he actually threw the Candyland pieces around. The kicker was that his guy thought his greatest attribute was his maturity.
Rachael – University of Miami: The guy I was seeing last semester brought me to his frat’s semi-formal and let his brother hit on me all night for his amusement. Then was annoyed when I asked if I could borrow his coat for the walk home (he had long sleeves and an undershirt, I had a sleeveless dress). Then, to finish off the night, when I asked for help unzipping my dress before he left – making it clear, especially the way things had been going, that I genuinely needed help and that was all – he told me that if I had been implying something, it was okay. So I asked if he wanted to stick around. He thought and responded, “Not tonight.”
Lauren – University of Michigan: It was a first date. And he excused himself to go to the bathroom by saying, “You got a magazine in that purse? I need to take a dump.” It was also a last date.
Emmy-Loyola University Chicago: We went downtown for dinner and, as per usual, there was a long wait at most of the restaurants. He was really hungry and decided that he wanted to go to McDonald’s instead. I so wish I was kidding.
Christie – NC State University: Let’s just say I had to make out with him for two hours because it was better than talking with him. Not that he wasn’t a nice guy; I liked him, he was just awkward and said weird things like “if you were a pirate, would you put your parrot on this shoulder or this one?” and put his arm around me. We were better off as friends…
Noa – CU Boulder: My freshman year boyfriend lived on my hall so our relationship lost any sort of excitement pretty early on. After much hinting he finally planned a real date. I was so excited I got all dressed up and met him in his room. He ended up taking me to the campus food court… and used a gift certificate to buy me my Wendy’s.
Jackelyn – San Francisco University: My worst date experience? We went out to eat at Burger King, he didn’t pay for my meal off of the dollar menu, and to top it all off, he didn’t share his fries with me. You can’t NOT share your fries with me! Are you kidding?! 3 strikes & you are out, buddy.
Sara C- Fordham: I have never even seen one episode of Sex and the City, but for whatever reason my boyfriend of three years is a BIG fan. So when the movie came out in 2008, he dragged me to see it. When we were standing in line to buy tickets, the male half of a couple in front of us turned to my boyfriend and said, “Yo, man, she got you whipped, too?” And my boyfriend replied (a little too enthusiastically), “NO WAY! I love this show! She’s never seen it!” I’m not sure which was worse: the guy giving me the “homegirl, your man is gay” look, or having to ask my bf to explain all the inside jokes I didn’t understand from the movie.
Sarabeth – University of Texas: My worst date, by far, was when a guy decided to take me to our dorm’s game night and ignored me the entire time. I ended up playing Taboo with my friends while he was off playing something else with other people.
Jasmine – Northern Arizona University: Last year an acquaintance invited me on a date. Our bar time went well enough to justify going home with him. He needed “space” to sleep, so he oh-so-chivalrously offered me the floor. Then, the next morning, before I could escape, he woke up and told me that he peed on himself during the night. I’m sure Liz Lemon would co-sign with me that the whole night was one long series of deal breakers.
Kelly – University of Iowa: I don’t exactly “date” but this is a close second. It was two and a half years ago, my freshman year, when I had first met my current boyfriend. One day after an hour and a half of getting my swell on at the dorm fitness center, I ran into him in the lobby. With all of his friends. They were heading out to dinner and he asked if I wanted to come. Obviously I did but I looked a mess so I had to decline. He told me I looked fine (greasy ponytail, Jump Rope for Heart shirt with the sleeves cut off…) so I believed him and went. Everything was fine until I got back to my dorm and looked in the mirror. I was bright red. Like fresh-cooked lobster red. I had hit the tanning bed for the first time in months and the burn fully developed while we were eating. Luckily, he had a sense of humor about and called me “Kool-Aid Man” for a few days instead of not calling at all.
Carly – Grinnell: In high school I went to some major trouble to organize an elaborate scavenger hunt for my boyfriend. The last clue led him to my house, where I had cooked his favorite meal. I had literally spent hours putting everything together, but he just looked really dour when he finally showed up. I asked him what was wrong and he said that the hunt had been “kind of annoying.” He also didn’t compliment my food. Should have dumped him on the spot.
Elizabeth – UC Berkeley: I went out with this guy my freshman year who was kind of an alcoholic. On our 2nd date, I wore heels and my feet were really starting to hurt. He offered me a piggy back ride and I skeptically took it since he had pregamed for our date. Within one step, he fell and my face planted into the cement. I had a chipped front tooth and scraped up face for 2 weeks during finals.
Brittany – University of Saint Thomas: I went on a date once and the dude was so nervous he would not eat any of his entree. Then it made me nervous. Because the date was a bundle of nerves, things started looking up when we ordered dessert. But, his nerves didn’t engulf his exsistance anymore. Because he ate the entire thing.
Megan- Penn State: I’ve been on plenty of bad dates, but one definitely stands out as the worst. After we had dinner, I started the “let’s be friend speech,” because I wasn’t feeling him. He then had a breakdown, and proceeded to mention that he was planning to make our relationship official, and wanted me to meet his family the next weekend. We had only met the night before. Talk about a disaster date!