[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of getting the pity-eyes as you sift through the Self-Help section at your campus bookstore? Over wondering what those boys are thinking? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to email@example.com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring it on, ladies.]
So I met this guy at a party one night and we exchanged numbers. A few days later he texted me and asked me if I wanted to meet him for some drinks. I met him at the bar and we had a great time. We had so much to talk about, there was never an awkward silence and we ended up staying pretty late. I was going to take the bus home (I go to school in Chicago and the bar was far from my place), but he refused to let me and offered to drive me home, which was in the complete opposite direction of his home. I got really awkward when we pulled up so I sorta just said my goodbye and jumped out of the car. I didn’t want him to think that meant I wasn’t interested so I texted him the next day to thank him and tell him how good of a time I had.
And then…. Nothing.
WTF? It’s fine if he’s not interested (even though that makes no sense based on how well things went) but why would he drive me all the way home if he wasn’t into me? Is it because I didn’t kiss him goodnight?
— First Date Freak
Dear First Date Freak,
Ladies and gentlemen, step right up, no need to shove, for you will all see a spectacle sought the world over – the last of his kind. Bring the kiddies and don’t worry about your wallets. The Dudemaster proudly presents: The last decent human being on Earth! He gives women a ride home, not to get ridden, but because it’s the right thing to do. This man is me.
YOU DON’T LET HER RIDE THE BUS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! I have given several rides home to women I wasn’t the least bit attracted to (not that I’m implying he wasn’t even a little interested). I did it because my momma raised me right. There’s no good excuse to let a gal make an Odyssey through a suburban or urban jungle after an evening of drinking. What if she’s mugged? Assaulted? Abducted by a secret rogue government agency that worships a circular symbol of commitment? He didn’t give you a ride because he was fishing for some lovin’, he did it because he wanted to make sure you were safe.
Is he interested? Maybe, maybe not. Don’t read too much into the ride. The ride is not necessarily an indicator of interest as much as a sign that he’s not a complete scumbag. Ladies, if a guy has a car and doesn’t make the offer to drive you home at the end of the date then erase his existence from your memories. Now, onto the crucial question: is he or is he not interested?
Based on what you told me, the outlook is muddled. You had a great night of conversation. That’s a good start. However, he didn’t get in touch the next day. Well, that could or could not be a bad sign. See, some men are idiots and think the 2 day call rule after a date is a real rule. So they wait a couple days (as opposed to sending a text the next day or calling her toward the middle of the week when he has an idea of what his weekend looks like). He might also have been really swamped running around the entire day and wanted to get in touch when he had some time to actually talk. Maybe he wanted to get his schedule straightened out before scheduling another date. Maybe he’s not interested and has no intention of keeping in touch. Some time has to pass before a definitive answer one way or the other can be determined.
Just relax. You’ve done all you can. Now you have to wait and see what happens. In the meantime appreciate the fact that the man of manners isn’t completely extinct. You had a nice time. You got home safe. You saved money on bus fare. All in all, sounds like you came out ahead.
Don’t drink and drive,