Senior Files: Change, Change, and More Change

I’ve always believed that change is a good thing. It can take you out of your comfort zone and introduce you to new people, new places, and new experiences that you would never have known otherwise. I’m all for change, really I am,  just not when that change removes me from my carefree lifestyle of afternoon classes, friends, parties, and little to no responsibilities.

Everyone says that college is the best four years of your life and now, with only a few short weeks left of it, it’s finally starting to sink in. I wake up in the morning (feeling like P. Diddy) without the sound of an alarm, go to a class or two, and just hang out all day with my friends. I do what I want, when I want, and besides a few participation points deducted from my grade when I’ve been too hungover/lazy to go to class, there’s been very few repercussions.

Sure, I’ve definitely had some stressful times in college, like when I pulled three all-nighters in a row so I could finish my final project or that time I forgot about a midterm exam. But in the grand scheme of things, college life has been awesome. Actually, awesome doesn’t even begin to describe it. I’m not sure there’s even a word. It’s been….rad?

But like all good things (i.e. Ugly Betty), it’s all about to end. And the mere thought is enough to make me sick. Seriously, I can feel my Easy Mac coming up as we speak.

Still jobless, this is the first time in my life that I don’t have a plan. And I’m a to-do-list kind of girl. I usually need some sort of goal or purpose or I start to feel antsy. But I literally have no idea what I will be doing after graduation. Part of me feels invigorated – I can do whatever I want! – but a bigger part of me is paralyzed with fear.

It doesn’t help that most of my friends have jobs already and, with that, a sense of security that I don’t have. They know where they will in August. They know what is coming and what to expect. They know their future addresses and perhaps even their route to and from work.  All I know is that my address will no longer be a Stanford one.

I like me some change (especially when I find it in an old jacket pocket), but this is just too much for me to handle.

Anyone else feel this way? Who is ready for the change?

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