Earlier this week I logged on to Facebook and my news feed was overwhelmed with updates on my friends joining the group “I’m single – and you’re going to have to be pretty amazing to change that!” While I normally dislike Facebook groups about random things, the title of this one hit home for me. First off, they used the right “you’re,” which is surprisingly rare on Facebook these days. Secondly, what an inspiring perspective to have on being single!
It is so easy for us single ladies to look at people in relationships and be a little jealous, or miss the stability and security that sometimes comes from being in a relationship. It is so easy to get trapped in the pattern of being in a relationship simply for the comfort that comes from having a boyfriend, any boyfriend. I know this from both personal experience and from watching so many of my friends get trapped in relationships where they are not satisfied but can’t bear to leave the security of their boyfriend behind.
Change is difficult, change is scary, and hell, I understand that better than anyone (I don’t even like changing the brand of mascara I use, let alone my relationship status!). But sometimes, as hard as it can seem at first, change is necessary.
Take my little sister, for example. I’ve been watching her fight with her boy almost constantly for the past two months. She has really come to like the safety blanket feeling that comes with being secure in having a boyfriend, which is understandable, especially in high school where so many social events are just easier if you are in a relationship. (She was horrified at the idea of going to prom with someone else because then her group would be all messed up…). Being the older sister that I am, I can see how amazing my baby sis is. She is the star soccer player of her school, has one of the top GPAs, is gorgeous, hilarious, and super easy to get along with (not that I’m biased). But she doesn’t see it. If she did, she’d realize what she’s sacrificing to be with this guy who makes her cry and she’d find someone else who would treat her the way she deserves to be treated.
Reflecting on all of this has reminded me how happy I am being single, and why it is alright to keep just as high of standards for my boys as I do everything else in my life. I don’t hold onto friends who piss me off, I don’t buy clothes that don’t fit and I don’t use makeup that makes me break out. Why, then, would I ever settle for guy who doesn’t make me feel as fantastic as I know I am?