The Kardashians Want To Save Your Relationship

Does it bother anyone else that whenever any celebrity has obtained a sense of stardom and/or a relationship, they feel the sudden urge to become a published author (with their own signature clothing line/scent)?  An author who gives their oh-so-valuable advice to the general public?  It was bad enough when Jennifer Love Hewitt decided to write her own book as if she was some kind of cupid messenger,   but now the Kardashian sisters are jumping on the bandwagon?

As embarrassing as this is to admit (but I have to in order to prove my point), I watch the show. I read the tabloids. I know these girls, so the thought of taking their advice in my personal life shakes me to the core. Combined, these three women have made a sex tape, married a boyfriend in a time span of a couple months, and birthed a child from the biggest douche-lord on the planet. Do you really want to take relationship advice from these chicas?!

I can see it now, “Chapter One: Sex Tapes 101 and Other Ways to Get Famous.

I have no idea what sort of sound advice these women can give (besides tips on keeping your hair luxurious and shiny/making 12 pounds of eye makeup look super sultry) but I think I can predict what the outline of this book will look like:

Chapter 1: Dealing With a Douche Bag in a Suit

Chapter 2: Getting Preggers to Change Your Man

Chapter 3: Marry Him as Fast as You Possibly Can

Chapter 4: Angry Siblings and Your Douchey Dude

Chapter 5: Viagra in His Coffee and Other Ideas To Spice Up Your Sex Life

Chapter 6: How to Convince Your Baby Daddy to Build a Crib

Chapter 7: Skimpy Bikinis and Other Ways To Make Your Ex Jealous

Being perpetually single, I’ve got a whole stack of relationship advice books on my bedside table (which could explain why I’m still single), but a Kardashian guide to relationships? I think I’ll stick to Steve Ward and Patti Stanger, thankyouverymuch.

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