There’s almost nothing worse than waking up in the morning and discovering a big, fat zit in the middle of your forehead. And it always seems to happen the day of sorority formal/a new ID photo/a presentation/any random Tuesday when you pass your crush on the way to class. No matter how hot you look otherwise, that eyesore on your face brings you back to being an insecure 13-year-old, and you start bargaining with god to just make it go away as you furiously wash/exfoliate the sh*t out of your face.
You’d do just about anything to get rid of that honker. Anything.
Or would you?
A University of California student just wowed the world with news of an all-natural, totally effective way to rid the world of acne. It’s a breakthrough in skincare that has everyone abuzz. The only problem is: it’s breast milk.
Apparently, whatever handy particles that are in breast milk locate acne-causing bacteria before they turn into pimples. And unlike all those crazy strong acne creams, the formula (if you can call it that) would have no harsh side effects (like dryness), since it’s all-natural.
It all sounds pretty damn good, until you start thinking about the “sophisticated delivery system” that would keep the stuff “alive” until applied to the skin, where “nanoparticle bombs” can finally blow up those little suckers on your face. Uhhhh.
So many questions, I don’t even know where to start.
LIVE breast milk!?
Is this my face, or a battlefield?
And, uh, where will all this breast milk come from!? Don’t the moms who have it, need it? To, oh I don’t know, feed their children?
Wait, LIVE breast milk!? On my face?!
I think I’d rather have a few zits than squeeze some lactating woman’s boob onto my cheek.
Trust me, I want to rid my face of acne just as much as the next hormonal girl with a date coming up, but this is just too much too swallow. Ew. I think I’ll just stick with my usual face cream and copious amounts of cover-up, thank you very much.