No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? Not For The Situation

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Dear “The Situation” (if that’s even your real name),

You have nice abs. We get it. But don’t you think maybe it’s time to put a shirt on? At the beach on the Jersey Shore, it’s okay. But at the gym when you’re all sweaty, it’s unsanitary. And at the Grammy’s!?!? Do I even have to explain that one?

At first I thought maybe you couldn’t afford a shirt (especially the bedazzled Ed Hardy variety that you JS boys prefer) and contemplated starting a fund for you. Like what Tom’s doing with shoes, but with graphic tees. But then I learned how much you make for (often topless) appearances and realized that it’s not a financial issue at all. It’s just…you.

Listen, I admire what you’ve got goin’ on, especially compared to some of the guys I’ve seen who’ve had a few too many late night burritos,  but I have a great ass and you don’t see me walking around in assless chaps everywhere I go! Get what I’m sayin’, brah?

So please, Sitch, put on a shirt. You just might gain a little respect. Emphasis on might.

Love,
CollegeCandy

Life After College: There Are No Sick Days In The Real World
Life After College: There Are No Sick Days In The Real World
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