The Know: Towel Yourself Tan

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We all have those friends who seem to have a perfect something.

Perfect skin… and then they complain about their one teeny tiny pimple as they stare at my “wow, how unfortunate; her skin looks like it belongs in 7th grade” face.
Perfect hair
…every strand is always in place, it never gets greasy or frizzy, it never gets Jew-fro-y in the humidity.
Perfect metabolism…you know those biatches who you wish you could hate as they chow down on their 4th piece of pizza in their size 27 jeans but you can’t hate them because they are so great?

Well, for years, my friend Jess has had the perfect tan; always radiant, glowing, never orange, never streaky, never Simon Cowell looking (I mean really, the dude should just wear a sign that reads “Some people choose alcohol, but self tanner is my drug of choice”).

Anyway, I never thought to ask dear ‘ol Jess what her tan-perfect secret was – I figured it was just one of those things that she would always have down perfectly and I would admire her glow whilst accepting the fact that I am and will always be Pasty McPasterson pals with Snow White. (What up, home girl?)

But then tonight the secret was revealed, and much like those exclusive behind the scenes of your favorite reality show shows, I was fascinated, intrigued and wanted to know more. At last, the tan curtain had been lifted.

Turns out, Jess uses TanTowels. Individual towelettes (much like the ones you get at restaurants where they think you are going to eat like a hot mess) to wipe on your face and body. They are packaged for individual use and, as Jess points out, they are a blessing from the traveling gods since you can throw these bad boys in your carry-on and not worry about getting strip searched by the female guard with the mustache.

She claims they don’t streak, don’t turn you orange and are the secret to her perfect weekend glow sans the risk of sun damage, and, the more importantly, sans the risk of looking like Snooki. And with the temperature rising and the short shorts coming out of hiding, these handy little slices of sunless heaven are definitely something worth Knowing about.

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